Training with Jounin
by demonrubberducky
Summary: KxI Iruka gets invited to a special Jounin training session, but it turns out the stakes are higher than he knew.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Naruto not mine. Do you have to rub it in?

AN: This is a slash fic, which if you somehow don't know, means M/M action. There's going to be some sex eventually (which is probably going to be pretty awful, since I'll have no idea what I'm doing, but I'll try really hard), so be warned.

Training with Jounin

Chapter One: The Invitation

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Jounin are a particular group. They bring notoriety to their village, complete the most difficult of missions, and keep the streets safe for the little nin-children. But they are also the most dangerous force to the village itself, for one very important reason. Because they get bored very _very_ easily.

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"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei." Iruka said to the silver haired jounin that had perched upon his desk with a silent jump from the open classroom window. Kakashi stared at him, ignoring the dozen and a half wide eyed academy students seated who craned their heads closer to see what was going on.

"Is there something you needed?" Kakashi remained silent, and pulled out his Icha Icha Paradise vol 6 to read. Iruka's eye twitched, and the students quickly looked back away and began working on their book work furiously. They knew not to interfere when the eye twitched. But sadly, Kakashi didn't.

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Jounin are, as a rule, completely crazy. There is not a one who has been on one jounin-class mission that doesn't have some strange quirk or fetish. Some walk around with sharpened senbon in their mouths, some proclaim the Joys of the Springtime of Youth and disappear into the sunset. Some secretly peek into the women's bathing house. Some openly peek into the women's bathing house. And some wear masks and hide behind porn. Every jounin has some particularity to distance themselves from others, as another form of defense in their world of killing and death.

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"Kakashi-sensei, why are you reading porn in front of my classroom of eight-year-olds?" Iruka asked in a deceptively calm voice. The children shuddered. The ones closest to Iruka's desk abandoned their 'ten things not to do with a kunai' essays and got into the fetal position under the tables. Kakashi held his porn higher, until it completely obscured his masked face, and continued reading.

"Children, I think maybe you should go home a few minutes early today." Iruka said, with a terrifying grin on his face. The children didn't move, frozen with fear. They were caught between their desire for freedom and their fear of retribution from their sensei for skipping out on class.

"But Iruka-sensei, it's only eleven o'clock. We've still got three hours left." Konohamaru whispered.

"A good ninja always listens to orders!" Iruka shouted. The class emptied in two-point-three-five seconds, a new class record.

"Now I can deal with you!" Iruka took a deep breath and was about to start his tirade against porn in classrooms when Kakashi finally lowered his book.

"Oh, hello Iruka-sensei! How are you doing?" Yes, that's right. The jounin had broken into the academy, entered Iruka's classroom through the window, crouched on his desk, and read porn, and now he was acting totally oblivious.

'He's an elite jounin ninja' Iruka told himself. 'He's a valuable asset to the village. Must…not…kill!' He tried to loosen the death grip he had on his kunai.

"What are you doing here, Kakashi?" He asked, through clenched teeth.

Kakashi thought for a moment, and smiled through his masked. "Well, you see, while I was walking down the path of life, I found a lion with a thorn in its paw, and after I pulled it out and won its eternal gratitude and friendship, it told me to come here."

Iruka repeated his mantra. 'He's an elite jounin ninja…'

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The reason jounin get bored so easily, the reason none of them could be classified as sane, is simple. The strain of their high danger lives leaves them with three choices. They can find ways to cope with the trauma, they can suffer a complete breakdown and be left with the mental capabilities of a stump, or they can die. The only jounin that survive are the first group. They take the broken pieces of their psyche and separate them into 'killer ninja' and 'person'. They seal off a portion of themselves from danger and hurt, leaving them with a ruthless killer personality on the battlefield and a fragile, childlike persona during their off hours.

The first Hokage noticed this phenomenon soon after he trained Konoha's first set of jounin. After battles were fought, he found himself left with children. Crazy, quirky children with full battle skills and a tendency to get bored very, _very_ easily

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"A lion?" Iruka asked, once he felt his calm return to him. "You say you exposed my innocent students to that vulgar literary trash because a lion told you too?"

"It's not trash! Icha Icha are a work of genius. You've obviously never read them." Kakashi responded.

"Of course I've never read them! They're filth."

"How would you know if you haven't read them?"

"I… I don't know! I can just tell." Iruka had a feeling that this conversation was heading down the wrong path.

"Why don't you read some and find out?" With that, Iruka found Icha Icha vol 6 shoved three inches from his face. He blushed as he automatically registered some of the words on the page before he could get his eyes shut.

'I don't care if he's an elite jounin! He must die!' The teacherly portion of his mind told him. The more mischievous portion, which Iruka sadly wasn't listening to at the moment, wondered why Kakashi was reading a yaoi version, instead of normal hentai…

Iruka pushed the book away and opened his eyes to find a smirking Kakashi at the same proximity that the book had been.

"Enjoy?" he asked. Iruka blushed.

"If you don't have any official business here, Kakashi-san, I'll have to ask you to leave. You're trespassing." Iruka told him, switching to his official voice.

Kakashi ducked behind his porn once again. Was he…nervous? Iruka shook his head. 'Jounin are just children with killing skills' he remembered an older chuunin telling him. When Kakashi peeked over his book at him a moment later, the anger was gone from his face. That seemed to encourage him. The silver-haired sensei emerged and tucked his book safely away into his weapons pouch. For the first time, Iruka noticed a note pinned to the other's flak vest. Kakashi unpinned it and handed it to him like a guilty academy student turning in prank ninja gear.

"I'm supposed to give this to you." He said shyly, and disappeared with a transportation jutsu.

Iruka opened the note. It read:

You, Umino Iruka, are hereby invited to participate in an exclusive jounin round of Jailbreak, in the forbidden area at sunrise on the twenty fifth. Please respond as quickly as possible. Dress for training and bring only standard weapons. This is an invitation only event.

"Jailbreak? Isn't that a children's game? Why was Kakashi so nervous about inviting my to a children's game?" Iruka's questions were interrupted by a polite bark. He looked up to see Pakkun seated on his desk, sniffing through his papers.

"So will you be attending, youngster?" the tiny dog asked.

"Sure, why not?" Iruka answered, still confused. Pakkun disappeared, and a moment later, Iruka heard cheering right outside of his classroom window.

Iruka shook his head and packed up his papers. "Jounins." He said with an exasperated sigh, and left to find some sane company.

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When the First Hokage founded Konoha, he realized the potential danger of the jounin, but didn't have much time to worry with it, given all the fighting that had to take place to protect his fledgling village. So it wasn't until the arrival of the Second Hokage and more peaceful times that the true problems arose. The jounin got bored, and when they got bored, they wreaked havoc. They pranked each other with their great ninja skills and their not so great reason. They played sports with weaponry instead of balls and sticks, and lit things on fire to find out what things were flammable (an important bit of knowledge for future missions, they argued). All the money they earned from dangerous mission went to rebuilding the village they destroyed daily.

There is also a second group in the Hidden village of Konoha: the chuunin. They aren't as talented in the ways of the ninja as the jounin, so they aren't the bread-winners of the village. Instead, they are the unofficial backbone of Konoha. They are the ones given the positions of responsibility in the everyday life of Konoha. They teach the children, they do the lower ranked missions, they do paperwork, run the mission board, and keep the jounin in check. They use the sanity that the jounin sacrifice to keep things working smoothly.

So while the jounin were routinely destroying Konoha, the chuunin were thinking of a way to keep the jounin occupied. Their solution was games. Jounin, like children, love playing, competing, and most of all winning. They love secrets and being exclusive. And while the jounin were off playing their 'secret' jounin only ninja games, the chuunin were free to bring the village into an era of prosperity.

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"Does this make any sense to you guys?" Iruka asked his chuunin coworkers, as he passed around the invitation. "Why do I need weapons to play a child's game?"

The older chuunin in the teachers' lounge smirked at each other.

"Have you RSPVed yet?" They asked slyly.

"Yes. Should I not have?" Iruka inquired, getting quite nervous looking at the Cheshire grins growing on their faces.

"Depends on who invited you. You do know the stakes, don't you?"

"There are stakes?" 'Oh shit! What have I gotten myself into?'

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The first jounin games were not, in fact, successes. The jounin were too busy destroying things and trying to think of new ways to get adrenaline rushes (which is pretty hard for ninja; none of the normal stuff, like bungee jumping or extreme sports, works because their training makes it seem easy, and they'd get thrown out of the village if they became dependent on drugs) to show up. The chuunin had to resort to desperate measures.

It is widely accepted that the jounin have two great motivators. There are only two things guaranteed to capture the attention any jounin (with the sole exception of Maito Gai, but then again, he is the exception for every rule known to man, especially the fashion rules). These two things are sake and sex. And, well… the chuunin figured that sake and sharp objects shouldn't be friends. Thus, the modern version of Jounin Jailbreak was born.

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"What are the stakes?" Iruka asked the other chuunin, who looked like cats with mangled canaries in their grips.

The chuunin told him.

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Jounin Jailbreak is sort of like the normal version. There are two teams, the hiders and the seekers. When a hider is caught, he is placed into the 'jail', where he must remain until the game ends or he is rescued by a team mate. The jounin version is started at noon, and continues until sunset (they use it as a training session, so it's about endurance as well as stealth skills). If the entire hiding team is caught before sunset, the seeking team wins. If even one hider remains free, the hiders win.

'Yes, but what's the stake?'

'Be patient, Iruka-kun, we're getting there.'

The teams always have to have an equal number, which might by why you've been invited. Don't worry though, there could be other chuunin there on invitations as well. Don't ask why, we'll explain in a minute. The teams divide up couples, and each person has a counterpart on the opposite team. The stakes are against that person.

'But what do they get?'

Their counterpart.

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"What?" Iruka screamed.

"The winning team wins the losing team for one night, to do whatever they want (within certain boundaries, of course. Everything's consensual). And for a chuunin to be invited, that means a jounin has their eye on you. You should be honored."

Iruka began hyperventilating.

"What? Why? Who…why me? Who would…? Who would invite me?""

The other chuunin gave him the look they usually reserved for very dumb students. "Who gave you the invitation, Iruka-kun?"

"Kakashi did. But he couldn't… he doesn't like…he definitely couldn't have." Iruka stuttered. His head was spinning.

The other chuunin kept giving him the 'the answer's right there in front of you, stupid' look. "I suppose there have been a few instances where a jounin had another deliver the invitation, so the chuunin would be surprised, but id doesn't happen often. Jounin have no shame."

"That must be what happened." Iruka stated firmly. "Now I just have to find Kakashi and tell him this is all a big mistake and that whoever sent that invitation is just going to have to find somebody else to play with."

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Three hours later, Iruka was still looking for Kakashi.

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Eight hours later, Kakashi was still nowhere to be found.

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Iruka finally managed to track down Kakashi in the wee hours of the morning, while he was visiting the Memorial Stone. Iruka was glad; he was about to resort to staking out the Adult Bookstore.

"Kakashi! I need to talk to you about the Jounin Games." He said, making sure to cut off Kakashi's escape roots with a few well placed bunshin.

"Yes, I know. Aren't you excited? Only three more days!" How could Kakashi act so nonchalant?

"No! I'm not going to them! I didn't know about the…conditions! You'll have to tell whoever sent the invitation that I'm honored, but I can't do it."

"Whoever sent the invitation? What do you mean by that? And you have to come. You've already agreed, and the teams have already been set up. If you drop out now, the entire game will have to be cancelled! We've been planning for months." Kakashi gave the most impressive one-eyed puppy-dog stare that has ever been performed before or since.

"But…but… I'm just a chuunin! I'd be a liability for my team!"

"Oh, that's taken care of! We've balanced out the skill levels! Besides, you're talented enough to hold your own. We won't be going all out." Kakashi looked incredibly proud that he had foreseen that argument.

"I have to teach! I don't have time for games!"

"Don't worry. I've put in for a substitute teacher for you. You won't even have to go in the day after, if you don't want to!" Iruka blushed when he thought about what he'd be doing the night before to make him want to skip out of school the next day.

"But…I don't think I'd be comfortable with…I mean…"

"Iruka-sensei, I never knew you were so shy. Can't even talk about sex…" Kakashi shook his head.

"I can too! And just because you're a porn-reading pervert doesn't mean that I have to be one to. I'm not going to have sex with a stranger just because you tricked me into agreeing to play your little games!"

"A stranger? Iruka, you wouldn't be having sex with a stranger. You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. The prize at the end is just a motivation to try your hardest. It's not set in stone that everyone has to do it. And Gai isn't going to be there, if that's what you're worried about. That would be too wrong even for us!"

Iruka glared at him.

"Fine. I'll go tell everyone else that we can't have our games this time because Iruka-sensei is too afraid."

Iruka wanted to point out that three days was plenty of time to find a replacement for him, but he figured Kakashi wouldn't have listened anyways.

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Iruka got through the first day with only marginal problems. Every jounin in the village somehow managed to walk by him and glare. But Iruka was strong. He could deal with the hate that he could feel boring in to him with every stare; he was a teacher, after all.

He even got halfway through the second day. But then, the hate mail started pouring in. Well, not hate mail as much as hate stick figure cartoons. And then, at lunch break, the jounin bribed his student into acting up and driving him crazy. The jounin who were parents called for hours long parent teacher conferences, and make Iruka explain every point he had counted off on every assignment he had given the particular student. When he finally arrived home, a full five hours later than he normally did, finding his bed on the roof and his bath tub full of orange Jell-O was the last straw.

"Kakashi! Come out here NOW!" He shouted. The jounin in question popped in through the window and greeted him with a wave. "If I agree to play your game, will all of this stop?" He asked wearily. Kakashi nodded.

"And will you clean this up so I can just get my bath and go to sleep?" Kakashi nodded again. "All right. I'll play. But look at me. I'm not in any way agreeing to have sex with anyone, understood?" Kakashi nodded a final time.

Iruka plopped down on his couch, exhausted from his trying day. Kakashi summoned a few shadow clones to clean up the tub, retrieve the bed, and cook something warm for the chuunin. As Iruka began to doze, Kakashi covered him with a blanket.

Iruka awoke an hour later. He found his house empty, but his tub filled with a bubble bath (kept warm via a warming jutsu) and ramen steaming in a little cup on his table. Maybe he wouldn't _kill_ Kakashi for putting him through all these troubles. Iruka slurped his ramen down and settled into his bath. Yes, he would definitely settle with just mangling Kakashi for giving him the day from Hell. When he finished his soak in the tub, Iruka went to his room and found his sheets had also been jutsued to feel pleasantly warm. 'MMMmmm' Iruka thought, as he drifted to sleep once more. 'I'll definitely give Kakashi a good talking to tomorrow, for what he put me through.

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Howdy howdy howdy! I'll try to be quick with updates, but I don't know how much time I'm going to have this week. More reviewsfaster updates, so review your little pervy hearts out if you like my story!


	2. Chapter 2

Training with Jounin

Chapter 2: Jounin Jailbreak Part 1

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Iruka awoke to the sound of an alarm he didn't remember setting. Without having had his morning coffee, the chuunin lay confused for a moment, before opening his eyes and seeing the invitation pinned to the ceiling above him.

'Kakashi,' his mind supplied. It was the twenty-fifth, the third day. Iruka switched off his alarm and stumbled around his apartment, trying to find clothes that he wouldn't mind training in, but wouldn't be embarrassing to wear in front of the most elite ninja in the village. Too many of his shirts had been 'decorated' with finger paint, courtesy of his artistic little students; too many of his pairs of pants were worn on the side of the pants legs, where the shyer children would tug when they had a question.

He finally settled a drab green shirt and equally dull grey pants. Easy to hide in, easy to wash, and he wouldn't feel bad if they got ruined. But then he remembered the stakes and the secret jounin admirer. Not that he was interested or anything…but he decided that if someone was going to go out on a limb and specially invite him, he could make a little effort to look good. He changed into a black shirt and black pants, which weren't impractical for training, and made him look a little less like a tree.

He was too nervous to eat breakfast, so he tied on his hitai-ate and headed out of his home. The sun had already finished rising, but he decided that it was his responsibility to make sure that Kakashi had, in fact, gotten a substitute to take over for his class. So instead of heading over to the forbidden area ('and my doom' Iruka thought, accompanied by some ominous mental theme music), he hopped roofs to the academy, and peered in the window to his classroom.

Iruka watched as Shikamaru entered, yawning and rubbing his eyes, threw down the folder that Iruka had left his emergency lesson plans in on the desk, and plop down in Iruka's chair.

"This is so troublesome." He said with another yawn. "It's too early to be up and learning!" (A/n Amen to that!) Iruka giggled at his former student's predictability, and turned to leave.

As he tore his gaze from the window, he was startled to find another chuunin, Izumo, standing beside him.

"Hokage wants to see you." Was all he said.

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If the jounin are all certifiably crazy, then those ranked even higher are certainly in need of institutionalization. There are only three legendary Sannin, ninja given rank even higher than jounin, and all three of them make jounin look like model citizens. Orochimaru, of course, was a body-snatching, child molesting, traitorous snake bastard. Jiraiya was a perverted hermit who neglected his responsibilities and spied on women bathing (made redeemable, some in the village would argue, by his overall willingness to share his experiences in novel form). And Tsunade… Tsunade was a scary, scary woman. Especially when she smiled. Like she was at Iruka, when he arrived at her office.

"Good morning, Iruka-kun." Iruka shuddered at the evil smirk on her ageless face. 'Is this how my students feel? Note to self: never grin like that at them. They have enough emotional scarring without me adding to it.'

"Good morning, Hokage-sama. Is there something you need from me?" 'Please don't need anything! I'm late as it is!'

"I was just wondering why it is that you've put in for a substitute for the next two days, Iruka-kun. Are you not feeling well? It's my job as Hokage to watch out for the people of this village." She was feigning ignorance, but that smile told Iruka she knew exactly why he wasn't going to be at the academy.

"I'm going to be training, Hokage-sama."

"Oh? Is that so? What sort of training? I need to know, as Hokage. It's important that I can properly assess your skills so I know how to place you for missions." Missions. Riiiight.

"I'm to compete in the Jounin version of Jailbreak, Tsunade-sama" He told her, because he knew he wouldn't be allowed to leave until he confirmed it. Tsunade's eyes glowed. "And, speaking of which, I should be going now. I'm late as it is."

"You're not late. It doesn't start until noon. Sit down."

"But, the invitation said to meet at sunrise. I really should be going."

'They just put that so the lazy jounin with a reputation for being late," she paused for a cough that sounded suspiciously like 'Kakashi', " can show up on time without creating a stir. Trust me, you don't need to be there until a little before noon. Now, you're going to have breakfast with me and we're going to talk."

Now that Iruka knew he had a few hours before his doom, his appetite returned. He accepted Tsunade's offer, not that he'd had a choice, and left with his stomach full and his head whizzing from Tsunade's interrogation: _What do you think of the jounin? Is there a particular one you're hoping to catch or get caught by? Are you excited? Is this your first time _playing? All of these questions, she insisted, were quite vital for her to know, being Hokage and all. Never mind that she had the same look in her eyes that her white haired former teammate did when he was doing his 'research'. But, then again, that could have also been from the sake that she drank for breakfast.

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When Iruka arrived at the opening to the forbidden area at eleven-thirty, he found about a dozen jounin lounging about and chatting lazily amongst themselves. He stayed on the outer fray while he mentally identified them and tried to place them with their partner. Asuma and Kurenai would be together, undoubtedly, although they hadn't 'officially' declared their feelings for one another. He matched three more pairs of jounin that he didn't know well, but had seen in the company of the one they were talking to. But there were a few that threw him in a loop. Who did Ebisu plan to hook up with, or Ibiki, or Anko? And why was Roan-san, who sometimes worked in the mission room with him, here, when he had a sweet civilian girlfriend who worked at the book shop? The suspected infidelity of one of his respected colleges shook him more that the possibility of being pursued by scary jounin whom he hadn't paired together in his mind, so much so that he jumped when the jounin Roan smiled and waved him over.

"Iruka-sensei, I'm glad you've come! _Some_ of us here_"_ (he gave a sharp look to Ebisu and Asuma) "thought that you weren't going to show up." The two jounin in question groaned and pulled out their wallets. Each gave Roan ten dollars. Iruka didn't respond.

"Is there something the matter, Iruka? Are you nervous?" Roan asked, not comprehending the reason for Iruka's standoffishness.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wasn't aware that you weren't seeing Hazumi-chan anymore." Iruka told him, hoping that he wasn't.

"What? What are you talking about? Hazumi and I are still dating. Oh! On, Iruka-kun, you're mistaken! I wouldn't dream of hurting my Hazumi-chan like that! She didn't want me to have to miss out on the game and the training, so she and Ayame-chan got together and made an agreement that Ayame-chan's boyfriend, Ran, and I will compete. If my team wins, I'll win Hazumi and Ayame-chan will win Ran, and vice versa if Ran's team wins." Roan explained, hands gesturing wildly.

"Oh, I'm sorry I doubted you, Roan-san." Iruka said, embarrassed at his mistake.

"It's fine. It's good to know that you speak up when you think someone is in the wrong."

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Three more ninja arrived while Iruka and Roan were talking. One was Roan's companion, Ran, who waved at them and began stretching and warming up. The other arrivals were Genma and Raido, both looking rumpled and extremely satisfied. Nobody wanted to ask them why they were almost late.

Iruka decided to talk with Kurenai next. She had always come across as being nice, and Iruka wanted some questions answered, preferably without being laughed at in his face.

"Good-"It wasn't really morning anymore, but not yet afternoon. How do you greet people in those few confusing in between moments right before and during noon? "Good day, Kurenai-sensei" he finally settled on.

"Good day, Iruka-sensei. Fine weather we're having, isn't it?" Kurenai answered.

"Yes, it's wonderful. I need to ask you some questions." Kurenai nodded, signaling him to continue.

"Do you have any idea who Anko-san, Ibiki-san, and Ebisu-san are going to be paired with?" 'Please not me!' he begged.

"I'm not sure. Why does it matter to you?" Kurenai asked, looking a little startled at his question.

"Because I'm not sure who sent me the invitation, and I'm trying to figure out the possible culprits."

"But Kakashi gave you the invitation." Kurenai stated.

"Yes, but I'm sure he was delivering it for someone else."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because Kakashi-sensei is never that straightforward. When he wants to meet you at three o'clock on the bridge, he tells you to be somewhere else at noon, and expects you to understand. He's always going on about what's 'underneath the underneath'. The very fact that he gave me the invitation means that it's not him that wants me to come. Besides, he could have anyone in the village. Why would he choose me?"

"Anyone in the village, huh? You'd be surprised." Kurenai gave him an unreadable look, and began walking away from the entrance to the forbidden area. "I'll be back in a moment."

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Kurenai walked until she got beyond the sight and hearing range of those gathered at the gate. Then she whispered "Kakashi! Come down here. I know you're out there!"

Kakashi hopped down from a tree, not looking up from his little orange book. 'Still on volume 6,' Kurenai noted.

"We've got an emergency situation, Kakashi!" Even though the silver-haired jounin remained lethargic, she must have grabbed his attention, because he glanced up from his novel.

"Yo! What's the problem?"

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At exactly 11:59, the last of the ninja arrived. Kakashi and Kurenai walked in together, which earned the former an angry glare from Asuma. Two jounin and one chuunin that Iruka knew only by name sauntered in. But it was the final shinobi to enter that caught Iruka's attention. What made this shinobi noteworthy wasn't just the fact that Iruka didn't recognize him (and the chuunin sensei prided himself on at least knowing the faces of all the nin in Konoha, courtesy of the hours he spent in the mission room); this certain shinobi's appearance was just… bizarre. He was dressed in all green, but not the practical, camouflage shade that Iruka had contemplated. It was a vibrant, bright, 'I'm a target' green that had no chance of blending in with the drab surroundings in the forbidden area. His shirt and pants were tight fitting, showing a muscular figure underneath and not leaving much to the imagination as to his endowments. When he smiled, the sun glinted and blinded the jounin and chuunin onlookers. If Kakashi hadn't assured Iruka that Gai-sensei would not be attending, he would have thought that this jounin was Konoha's Beautiful Blue Beast in disguise…

"Now that everyone's here, let's go over the rules and get started." The ever practical Ibiki said. "We aren't going to be fighting to injure. Weapons are allowed as tools and as defense against the dangers in the forest.

"If a member of the hiding team is found by the seeking team, he or she is allowed to fight if he or she wishes, but must go to the seeker's jail if bested. No one is allowed to leave the jail unless a non-captive member of the team is able to sneak in undetected. Be that the case, all those in the jail are freed, and they are given a grace period of two minutes to escape before the seeking team is allowed to pursue.

"If the hiding team wishes, they can try to overpower and capture a member of the seeking team, to either keep out of the game, or to use in negotiations for the release of prisoners of their own team, should they find themselves unable to sneak in. "

The rules droned on until even Iruka, who as a teacher was trained to listen to hours of the most boring instruction, began to zone out. Eventually, the final rule was introduced.

"The game will end at sunset, unless the entire hiding team is caught before that time or the seeking team is rendered incapable of continuing. If even one member of the hiding team remains free, the hiding team will be victorious. If the hiding team is captured, the seeking team wins. The prize for the victors is-" Iruka cut Ibiki off, afraid to have him explain, in his detached and detailed manner, exactly what the winners would be winning.

"Is there going to be a break at all, Ibiki-san? Noon to sunset seems like a long way to go without any time to eat or go to the bathroom." One of the scars teaching had left him with was to never plan an event without scheduled bathroom and snack breaks; otherwise, every single little child in his care would have to pee or be ready to faint from hunger at the most inopportune time humanly possible.

"Of course not. This is endurance training."

"Iruka-kun has a point though, Ibiki. I don't want to have people trying to capture me while I'm going to the bathroom." Kurenai pointed out. The female jounin nodded their agreement.

"But, on the battle field-" Ibiki protested.

"This doesn't need to be _that_ realistic. We'll schedule one half-hour break for eating and peeing." Anko told the crowd.

"And sex!" Genma chimed in.

"If you feel the need to." Anko deadpanned. "The teams will have to be on their honor to return to the exact place they were before after the break. We'll give the hiding team a minute before the seeking team goes. Any more questions? No, great, let's hear the teams!" Anko said, leaving no time for questions.

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Iruka's team, the hiding team, consisted of: himself, Asuma, Genma, Ibiki, Ran, the mystery Gai-like ninja, and four jounin that he didn't know all that well. They were given a moment to strategize as a team, but before Ibiki could launch into one of his complex battle plans, no doubt involving trickery, psychological warfare, and three types of interrogation, Genma decided to simplify things by just telling them to "Run like Hell." That said, they separated and disappeared into the forest.

Iruka could feel the flares of chakra from his team mates, not doubt from high level concealment jutsu. Iruka sighed, wishing that the other chuunin had been assigned to his team. Jounin were always so dramatic. They never entered a room through the door when they could use a window, or better yet a jutsu, they always used the flashiest moves they could, and they concealed themselves with chakra, rather than with good, old fashioned camouflage.

'Oh well, let them drain themselves using jutsu and then using more jutsu to conceal their chakra so the others can't track it. If I don't use chakra to hide, they won't be able to track me as easily, and I'll have more left for when I need it.' The rules made it so that the fate if Iruka's team mates didn't affect the fate of Iruka. As long as he stayed free, his team would win. And not winning wasn't an option, especially when it might give Anko, Ebisu, or another scary jounin free reign over him.

His resolve renewed, Iruka found a pond, scraped up some mud from the bottom, and began smearing it on his hitai-ate. One of the easiest ways to draw a jounin's attention is with shiny things (they are like raccoons in that respect), so Iruka was going to make damn well sure that his wasn't going to be glinting and giving away his position. Then he began caking mud onto the black shirt and pants he had so painstakingly chosen (berating himself on the vain choice all the while). With his clothes smelling like mud, Kakashi couldn't use his summer-human sense of smell to track him, and now that they were stained brown, the seeking team wouldn't be looking for the right thing.

When Iruka had played hide-and-seek as a child, he had often won by showing up in a brightly colored jacket, or wearing a noticeable hat or other article of clothing, and then shedding it (or passing it off to a non-player, which worked even better) when the seeker closed his eyes. That way, the child looking for Iruka would automatically look for that item, while Iruka slunk around in unremarkable clothing.

Convinced that he had changed his appearance enough, Iruka left the pond behind and found a nice pile of leaves to bury himself in. Once again, he used no chakra, and he didn't make the mistake of staying close enough to the surface to be able to see ('or be seen' he told himself). He stretched out his senses like he had done while tracking Mizuki, allowing himself to become attuned with all the movements of the forest. And then, he waited.

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Hours passed. Bugs crawled into his mud soaked clothing. He was itchy, tired, cold and wet. But he was patient. It was so easy to get caught by getting restless and moving. 'Movement draws the eye' he taught his classes. 'The most important thing is to stay still.' Iruka began reviewing the basic concealment lessons he taught, to pass the time.

He was halfway through 'How to Hide in Desert Terrain' when he felt movement larger than the normal squirrels and birds he had been feeling. He sharpened his focus on the disruption. It had two distinct shapes: A Raido-shape and a Kakashi-shape.

"Who's left to find?" Iruka hear Kakashi ask. It was hard to hear over the sound of a heart beating. Iruka wondered who was so flustered, before he realized the heart he heard was his own. 'I'm most definitely NOT excited to see Kakashi.' He told himself. 'It's just nerves, having the enemy so close.' He fought the urge to reinforce his cover with chakra. Instead, he kept listening.

"Only Genma, Iruka, and the 'mystery' nin." Raido replied. Iruka could feel the sarcasm in his voice as he said the last name. "I can get Genma easy. He's been almost four hours without any form of sex. He'll break any second now."

"And the other two?"

"Most of the group is going after 'the mystery' right now. They've decided to leave Iruka up to you and Kurenai for now, because you two know him the best."

"Ah. They haven't been able to find any traces of him yet? Have they gotten soft?"

"Hey! You haven't found anything, either. 'Oh, his scent ends at this pond' boo-hoo!" Raido snapped at him. 'The sex deprivation must be getting to him too' Iruka thought. He might have been one of the more naïve ninja of the village, but everyone knew how horny Genma and Raido were. Many speculated that there wasn't a hard surface in Konoha that they hadn't christened at one point or another.

Kakashi obviously noticed Raido's short temper and changed the subject. "Ten bucks says you can't catch Genma before the break."

"That gives me a whole hour. You're on!" With that, Raido hopped away through the trees. Iruka followed his movements as much as he could without abandoning his watch on Kakashi. The strange flutter of motions that followed him meant that he was either stirring up a lot of leaves, which ninja are trained not to do, or he was shedding clothing as he went along…

Iruka turned his attention back to Kakashi and had to drown out the sound of his heart to listen once more. It was strange, being able to 'watch' him without his knowledge, to be able to look his fill without hindrance. Kakashi wasn't so bad, when he wasn't embarrassing Iruka or reading porn. He felt so peaceful, standing there silently.

"Maybe I should use Raido's strategy and run around half naked until he pounces." Kakashi proclaimed in a loud voice. So that had been clothing. Iruka mentally congratulated himself on having correctly identified those motions.

"Hmmm… I thought that would have gotten at least a snort." Kakashi mumbled to himself. "But I know he's got to be around here somewhere."

Then Kakashi pulled a most ingenious move. He whipped out the porn. He didn't bury his face in it and read it silently, though. He kept it far enough away from himself that he could monitor the forest for movement, and he began to read out loud.

Very enthusiastically.

Great. Now Iruka was itchy, tired, wet, and very, very flustered.

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An hour, two sex scenes, and eighteen horrible puns later, the whistle signaling the jounin to return to the meeting place rang out. As soon as Kakashi was out of sight, Iruka broke his cover and headed back to the pond. He scrubbed the mud off of his clothes and hitai-ate, and then stripped and stepped into the cold water of the pond. Now that he wasn't so itchy, smelly, and flustered, he summoned a cat to run back to the meeting place and tell the others that he'd be along in a few minutes. He relaxed in the water for a few minutes, stretching out the muscles that hadn't moved for hours and letting the stress ('not arousal', he firmly told that annoying voice in the back of his head) drain away.

He relaxed until he heard a twig snap, and turned around to find a beet-red Kakashi frozen in mid-step. The jounin tried to speak, but failed. He tried gesturing, but that didn't work either. The two ninja were left staring at each other, one naked and half emerged in a near-freezing cold pond, the other blushing with a suspicious dark spot staining his black cloth mask under his nose.

"Have you got a nose bleed, Kakashi-sensei?" Iruka asked, wondering how that could be so amusing at a time like this. If only he could tell Naruto, who had been trying to get Kakashi-sensei to fall for his sexy-no-jutsu for moths now.

"Yes. From walking…I mean, a tree. I ran into a tree, when I was walking. I was, um… looking for you, to see if you wanted to eat dinner…with me. And then I ran into a tree and you're naked-" Kakashi rambled.

"Kakashi, turn around for a minute." Iruka ordered. Kakashi turned away mechanically, and Iruka slipped into his wet clothing. He used a mixture of a wind jutsu and a fire jutsu to dry himself off, before coughing to signify that Kakashi could turn back around.

"Sure, I'd love to eat dinner with you, Kakashi." He said with a smile.

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Blehhhhh. So tired now. This took so long, and I didn't even get through the break yet, like I was planning to do. I might have to break up Jailbreak into three parts, not two, if it keeps coming out so long. Anyways, I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Just…don't threaten my life if I don't, because it scares me.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello everybody! Thank you for your lovely reviews. And just to clear it up, last chapter when Kakashi left and Iruka took his bath, Kakashi wandered back because he wanted to spend some time with Iruka (not that he was worried or anything, because he hadn't checked back in. Jounin never worry. Worrying is a chuunin thing!). Well, with that being said, on with the show!

Training with Jounin

Chapter 3-Jounin Jailbreak Part 2

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Rather that a peaceful, restive meal, Iruka and Kakashi wandered into the meeting place to find a chaotic brawl insuring. They hadn't been expecting much, though. This was a jounin event, which means things are never going to be quiet.

The disruption could be pinned on three main groups. The first was Anko, who was ordering anyone and everyone to leave the forbidden area, find her favorite kind of dumplings on a stick, and bring them back to her. This wasn't much of a problem, until no one seemed willing to comply, and the kunai started flying.

Rivaling Anko in loudness but causing a little less panic was Genma and Raido, who were arguing. Kakashi was unperturbed, and interrupted their lover's spat to collect his ten dollars. Raido, from what Iruka gathered, was angry that Genma had eluded him for the last hour ("You honesty thought I would give myself up when I knew we were breaking in an hour? Anyone can hold off for an hour! Do you really think I'm that horny?" "Yes, because I know you!"), while the other was sucking his senbon suggestively and trying to seduce Raido into going into the woods and working off a little of that excess tension.

But the loudest disturbance in the clearing they were gathered in was the 'mystery' ninja. He was sobbing profusely and proclaiming that he couldn't live with the shame. He should be disowned from his Noble Family, he shouldn't be allowed the Privilege of training his Beloved Students, he would do a thousand one finger push-ups to redeem himself!

"Gai-sensei didn't sign up for this, right?" Iruka asked Kakashi in a whisper. He suddenly felt very fortunate that 'mystery nin' was on his team; it meant that he wasn't the one who invited Iruka.

"He didn't register." Kakashi replied sagely, flipping through Icha Icha vol 6.

"Does he have a brother, then, or a cousin?"

"Dunno. Want to go get food?" Iruka was puzzled by the stark change of subjects, but figured that jounin weren't known for their conversational skills.

"Sure, why not?"

So while Anko stopped her moving target practice, the entire hiding team consoled 'mystery nin' with "it's okay, we got caught, too"s, and Genma and Raido continued to argue and not have sex (Genma was near tears by this time, and Raido wasn't far behind), Kakashi and Iruka retreated into the village to retrieve dumplings and rice balls.

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"I can honesty say your book is trashy now, Kakashi-sensei." Iruka said, as they walked through the village laden with boxes of food.

"So you were there. I knew it! And how can you not like Icha Icha?"

"Because it's poorly written trash."

"Do you think you could write a better sex scene, Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi challenged.

"I think I could. Wouldn't be hard." He mumbled in reply.

"No you couldn't. You're too innocent and teacher-ly."

"I could too! You think that just because I teach and I don't read porn in front of children that I'm a prude! I'm not as innocent as everyone thinks." Iruka said mysteriously.

"Oh?" was all Kakashi said. He was starting to look at the other people passing by, obviously bored with the conversation.

"You know that time when someone snuck into Tsunade-sama's bedroom and replaced her cloths with old lady dresses and bonnets, and all the mirrors in the Hokage mansion with those carnival mirrors that make you look all squashed and wrinkly?"

"Yes. She was so angry, she punched through three walls, and decreed that whoever was responsible would be exiled from Konoha for life." Iruka just smiled. Kakashi stared for a moment.

"That was YOU?"

"Yup. And that's not all I've done." Iruka began highlighting the greatest triumphs of his pranking career, from replacing Genma's senbon with one made out of sugar (it dissolved in his mouth, and he was convinced for three days that he had acidic spit) to the Grand Pervert Caper, when he had started a rumor about a hole in the wall of the women's bath house, only for the perverts of Konoha to discover that that day was Senior Citizen Cross-dressers Day (Iruka refrained from asking if Kakashi had been one of his victims for that one).

"That's pretty impressive, Iruka, and most unexpected. Not my style, though. I prefer a more subtle approach." Kakashi began to explain the elaborate tricks he played on the good citizens of Konoha. Each plan was elaborately drawn out, so that each move Kakashi made caused a reaction that caused a reaction that would produce the desired effect. When he wanted revenge on Asuma, for example, instead of doing something directly to him, he would tell Team Seven that Asuma was really a wizen old man who henged himself to look like a young jounin. Sakura would, of course, gossip about it to Ino, who would recruit her team to stalk Asuma and throw sharp objects at him to try to break the jutsu. Asuma would be made miserable, and the blame couldn't be traced back to Kakashi.

By the time they had finished swapping prank stories, the two shinobi were back at the clearing, where they were ambushed by eighteen hungry ninja. Kakashi and Iruka took their food and made their way away from the group and toward blessed, quiet privacy.

Iruka was willing to admit, grudgingly, that he was starting to warm up to Kakashi. He was smart, funny, and str…Oh my God! Was he taking his mask off? Iruka's brain went into overload. Kakashi's face…Kakashi's face…it was beautiful! So pale it was almost frail looking, with strong cheekbones and lips that were curved in a delicate smile. Part of his brain was drooling, part was composing impromptu haiku comparing the face to a lotus blossom, and part was mentally stabbing a voodoo doll of whomever Kakashi had chosen for his partner, for being so evil as to take him away.

The lips parted, and began moving. 'He speaks! O, speak again, bright angel!' the haiku part of his mind stopped to quote.

"Aren't you going to eat, Iruka? We've only got a few minutes left." Iruka blushed.

"Of course. I was just surprised that you-" he gestured at his face.

"Well, can't eat with it on, right? Does it both you?" Kakashi asked, still chewing a rice ball.

"No, not at all. I just thought that you might be worried that I'd blackmail you, now that I've seen the face of the ever elusive Copy-ninja."

"I doubt that. After all, I know about you pranking the Hokage. If anyone should be worried, it should be you."

Kakashi and Iruka bantered back and forth and ate during the final minutes of the break.

"I guess I'll see you in a few hours.' Iruka said, as he got ready to return to his hiding place.

"Or a few minutes. I know you were within earshot when I was reading." Kakashi smugly replied.

"I _was_, but who's to say I will be by the time you get there, hmm?" Iruka shot off into the woods.

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The plan had definitely changed. Iruka couldn't afford to just hide out any more. He made his way back to his pile of leaves with startling speed. Everyone on his team was in jail, except for Genma. As far as he could tell, the jounin hadn't swayed Raido into putting out, so he would break at any moment. He reached the leaf pile, jumped on it, and then hopped back into the trees and away with rapidly. He wouldn't be able to just keep hiding, not with nine jounin and a chuunin (who was the real threat; she's know his common sense, text-book moves, and how to counter them) looking solely for him. Iruka dove into a pond once again to hide his scent, and then climbed straight up a tree. 'I'll have to risk a jailbreak,' he thought. 'Now would be the best time, before they have time to organize themselves.'

Iruka looked below him and found what he was looking for. There was an open patch filled with flowers (most likely flesh-eating or poisonous, considering they were growing in the forbidden area, but Iruka didn't have time to be picky). He jumped into them, not touching any branches on the way down, propelling himself with chakra to make the distance. He'd have to drop the flower scent as soon as his team mates were free, but hopefully it would throw off the seekers for the few moments he needed. The chakra he'd used would lure the jounin like a pack of wolverines (although Iruka wasn't sure if wolverines were pack animals, he was sure that if they did, they'd be like the jounin), so he formed a few clones and sent them running in different directions.

The seeking team's jail was hidden, but Iruka managed to find it with little difficulty. After all, it isn't an easy task to cover one's tracks when one is dragging a jounin through the woods, and a group of eight captive shinobi is virtually impossible to silence. As the chuunin drew near to the jail, he heard Ibiki, Ran, and Asuma mournfully singing a round of "Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen", while 'mystery nin' counted out one fingered push-ups and the other jounin proclaimed loudly that they were offended that they were left with only one guard, and if this were reality, they would have escaped hours ago.

The chuunin sensei smirked. One guard would be easy enough to deal with. Iruka called one of the clones he had sent through the forest to the edge of the guard (Ebisu)'s line of vision. The clone Iruka didn't let himself be seen, but allowed his hitai-ate to flash for a moment, before running off again. Ebisu craned his neck to get a closer look, then took a few tentative steps, inwardly debating whether or not to abandon his post to capture the slippery sensei. At last he must have decided it was worth the risks, because he transported himself into the woods with a pop.

Iruka broke from his hiding place and bounded into the jail. The jounin cheered enthusiastically until Iruka shushed them like naughty school-children.

"Let's go." He mouthed at them. They nodded, and each shot off in a different direction. 'Mystery Nin' remained, still only on the fifty-eighth push-up.

"Go ahead, Noble Iruka! I will escape as soon as my Task is complete!" He proclaimed amidst a blinding smile. Iruka decided it was one of those moments where the only thing to do is smile, nod, and back away slowly.

He was about to double back to the pond, to drench his scent away once more, when he noticed Asuma, lingering in the shadow near the jail. He quickly transported himself to the jounin, who had lit up a cigarette and was leaning against a tree.

"Why aren't you hiding, Asuma?" Iruka asked, wishing he didn't sound so much like he was asking the class outcast why he wasn't playing during recess. He couldn't help it though; despite his tough-guy stance, Asuma looked disturbingly forlorn.

"We can't win this game, Iruka." He said.

"Of course we can. I freed everyone. The odds are on our side now."

"No. We _can't_ win. We can, but we _can't_." Iruka stared for a moment. Would it be too much to ask for ONE sane jounin, he thought.

"I'm afraid I don't quite follow."

"I like Kurenai. I want to be with her. If I win, I could sleep with her, but it'd be like I was forcing her to. I need her to make the first move, so I know she feels the same way. That's why she's got to win."

Iruka shook his head. Between 'mystery nin' and Asuma, his life was beginning to look like an episode of the ninja soap opera, As the Kunai Flies. As he was turning his head, he caught a glimpse of movement from behind. The bark of a tree was beginning to swirl around like liquid.

"So you'd be willing to throw the game for her?" He asked slyly.

"Of course. I'd do anything for Kurenai." Asuma replied, not knowing that the object of his affections was emerging from the liquid tree right behind him, until two pale arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Anything?" She asked, in a slow, seductive voice. "Then I'd like you and Iruka-kun to come with me."

But as she said Iruka's name, she heard a popping sound. The clone that Iruka had left in his place as Kurenai was genjutsuing out of her tree had disappeared. She sighed. 'One prisoner wasn't bad,' she thought, 'especially one this cute.' She tied chakra threads around Asuma's wrists.

"Follow me." She told him. She gave the strings a tug, and began walking ahead of him, hip swaying back and forth. Asuma followed quickly, leaving plenty of slack in the thread. Kurenai really needn't have bothered; with the way that she was walking, she couldn't have stopped Asuma from following if she tried.

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When Kurenai showed up, Iruka knew it was time to leave, and not only to allow Asuma and Kurenai to work out their feelings; if she was back at the jail, the other jounin would soon be as well. He wasn't going to have time for the pond. Instead, he pulled out an exploding tag and channeled just enough chakra into it that it exploded in a harmless puff. The flower scent was replaced with a smoky one.

Iruka calculated that there was about three hours left of daylight. Despite what he'd told Asuma, he was worried about their chances of winning. His entire team, minus Genma, had been caught once; they could be caught again just as easily. Asuma was already gone, as well as the mystery nin. As he continued running he could hear Genma and Raido moaning, so he could mark Genma off the free list as well. That left himself, Ran, Ibiki, and the four other jounin. The chuunin turned, and headed east. Where could he hide? He tried to think, but it was hard to do so while running full speed through thick foliage while mentally calculating the likelihood of being a prize for an insane shinobi. He chanced upon Ibiki, who was entangled with two snakes. Anko must be near. He stretched out his senses and located her quickly; she hadn't seen him yet, but he had to leave, now. He felt movement ahead of him. 'Damn, I'm trapped!' he thought. Anko on one side, Raido behind, and some jounin out in front. Suddenly, Naruto's face flashed in his mind. 'I hope this works,' was all he could think.

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Kakashi hopped toward the clearing where Anko was recapturing Ibiki, who had been freed with all the others by Iruka. When he got close enough to hear them actually fighting, a kunai whizzed past his head. He ducked as the small knife embedded itself into a tree, and continued onward.

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Iruka's vision was swimming and his head pounding from the impact when he transformed himself back into his normal form. 'Alright, maybe transforming myself into weaponry to escape detection isn't as ingenious as I thought. At least it worked, though.' He shook his head back and forth to clear his vision, and continued running. Only two and a half hours left…

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A tree branch rustled in the clearing where Anko was currently tying up Ibiki. She didn't bother looking up; only an ally would make that much noise.

"What do want, Kakashi?" she asked, annoyed that he had intruded on her fun. She pulled the ropes around Ibiki's wrists tighter. He didn't wince.

"Yo. Need any help?" Lounging in his tree, Kakashi made no move to actually lend a hand.

"No. I've got this situation under control." She tugged at the ropes again. What would it take to get a reaction out of the torture expert?

"Then why the kunai? It's not like you to waste weapons."

"Huh? I didn't throw any kunai. I don't know what world you're in, but I don't _need_ any weapons to take down an enemy." She looked back at Kakashi to flash him a bragging grin, but he had already disappeared. Oh well. She went back to tormenting Ibiki. She was sure she could get him to break before sunset.

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Kakashi backtracked to where the 'kunai' he had dodged had buried itself into the tree. Sure enough, there was no kunai, no indentation, no evidence that a kunai had ever stuck the spot.

'Dammit! Why didn't I notice it before?' Now Iruka was gone again. It had to be Iruka, he knew. Naruto would have told him about his triumphant victory over Zabuza (a version which might or might not include Sasuke's role, depending on if the fox-boy was feeling amiable at the time of the telling), which included his transformation into a giant shuriken. None of the jounin would have known the story, or would have thought to apply the technique to their style of fighting.

'I've got to catch up to that kunai!' he told himself. Unfortunately, that led his mind to thinking about Iruka's kunai, and what he would do to it when he caught up to it. That stirred up images from Icha Icha vol 12 (Ninja of the Night). He put his head in his hands as his inner pervert broke free. The thought of Icha Icha vol 12 reminded him of volumes 1 through 11, which only fueled the dirty thoughts more.

Ten minutes later, Kakashi finally reigned his train of thought back to his mission (which had nothing to do with Iruka's 'kunai', he told himself firmly), and continued his hunt. He had forgotten the occupational hazards of Icha Icha. Ah, the trials of his life.

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Iruka found himself with a larger lead than he had originally planned for. His frenzied thoughts calmed more with every meter he put between himself and the enemy. He needed a plan. Seekers were all around. That only left two places to go: up, or down.

If he went up, he could try to conceal himself in the thick foliage of the trees, or go above them. If he went higher, he'd be well hidden from below, but wouldn't have a place to hide if one of the ninja happened to look above the tree line. Up was too risky.

He could go down, to the ground level, or better yet, below. He wasn't an expert at burrowing techniques, but he could manage a passable tunnel (Naruto had done it, after all, so it couldn't be too hard). After all, he didn't need it to conceal him for any great length of time; there were only two and a quarter hours until sunset.

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Fifteen minutes passed by with Iruka lying on his back, encased in cool earth about four feet down. He hadn't had time to go any deeper and still make sure he was concealed properly and had enough air. It wasn't so bad, being buried, if one could ignore the bugs, the chill, the darkness, and the fear of suffocation. All right, he was willing to admit that it was miserable. He was itchy, tired, cold, and dirty. But there were only two hours left until sunset! He was going to win, and then it wouldn't matter what creepy shinobi had invited him. If he was feeling nice, he could use his night of ownership for a friendly outing. If he was feeling evil, or if the inviter turned out to be someone he couldn't stand, he could have them cleaning his house and doing his chores all night. Yes, right now he was four feet under and had bugs crawling through his clothes, but life was good.

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One hour and forty-five minutes. The silence was starting to get to him. It was weird, not being able to hear anything. His life was comprised of noise; he was a teacher, he took care of Naruto, he handed out missions to jounin. Total silence like this was unnatural. He began going through lesson plans again, this time focusing on how his students had reacted to his teaching them. He remembered how Konohamaru, during the lecture on 'Distracting the Enemy', had felt the need to demonstrate his version of Naruto's sexy-no-jutsu. The boy had been shocked to learn that his teacher had, in all the time he spent with Naruto, built up immunity to the jutsu. That afternoon, his classroom had been flooded with parents, who wanted to know why where their sons had learned to transform into naked women, and why their daughters came home asking when they would have boobies as big as Konohamaru's.

One hour and thirty-five minutes left. Iruka felt the earth around him tremble. Someone had just landed right above him. He could feel the footsteps, faintly, as he walked around on top of Iruka's hiding spot. The chuunin kept himself completely still. The ninja above him obviously suspected he was near, or he wouldn't have lingered so long. He focused on keeping his body calm.

A moment later, the footsteps ceased. Was the ninja gone, or was he just standing still? Iruka wanted to stretch out his senses and find out, but at this range, even the tiny amount of chakra it would take to enhance his sense of touch could be detected.

Two minutes passed, then three. Iruka relaxed a little. Being underground and not knowing what was going on above was making him paranoid. 'Maybe it's time to move to a different spot.' As soon as he could think of a new plan, he was going to relocate.

There were two hours and one minute left before the sun would begin to set. Iruka had been lying in complete silence for twenty-nine minutes, so the sound of a hand thrusting down right above his head left him paralyzed for a moment. It was a good thing, too, for the invading hand had stopped only a few centimeters above his nose. Light and sound were filtering through the thin layer of soil that separated the chuunin from his hunter. Iruka silenced his breathing; he knew better than to try to hold his breath- if the ninja stayed longer than the air in his lungs lasted, he would be left gasping for breath and surely be detected.

A shadow passed over him as he lay tense in his hole under the earth. He had to get out of here. His hunter might not be aware that his prey was right beneath him, but Iruka knew that the one stalking him knew he was under the ground somewhere nearby. The sensei slid his arms under his back and began forming hand seals. Any jutsu he used would alert the jounin to his location, but he didn't have a choice. He would have to act instantly if he was going to escape. He took one last silent breath, and summoned up his chakra.

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Kakashi knew Iruka had to be near where he was standing; he could sense him. The copy-nin was mildly disappointed that he hadn't caught him when he had reached underground. He must have been sensing a mole or something.

He got ready for an earth jutsu; nothing to hurt the academy sensei, just to shake him up a bit and lure him out above ground. He never got to use it, however. Before he could finish forming hand seals, he felt a flare of chakra right beneath him. The earth crumbled up under his feet, and he would have fallen into the hole it formed if he hadn't reacted with lightning reflexes. He examined the hole quickly. Sure enough, it was a tunnel, filled with traces of Iruka's scent, winding away underground. He couldn't follow from inside of it; Iruka would make the whole thing collapse as soon as he emerged. He molded some chakra and sent it to his foot, releasing it as he stomped on the ground above the tunnel. The four feet of earth between the tunnel and the surface quickly filled into the tunnel from the impact. Now Iruka would have to surface. The hunt was back on.

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By the time the sun began to sink in the multicolored sky, Iruka was too exhausted to even care. He had only avoided capture by running all out. Now, in these final, essential moments, his chakra was drained. He was filthy, sweat-soaked, and ready to just give up. His little shoulder-devil was telling him to stop. It was whispering horrible, tempting things in his ear.

'None of those creepy ninja are trying to sleep with you.' It drawled. 'Kakashi has to be the one who wanted you here.'

"He couldn't." Iruka mumbled back, too tired to care that he was talking to himself as he hopped from branch to branch. Every few minutes, he would turn and head in a different direction, trying in vain to throw off his followers. "He's never that straightforward."

'He gave you the invitation. He got a nosebleed looking at you. He showed you his face.'

"You're wrong!" he whispered, but his voice, hoarse with stress, lacked conviction.

'He sought you out to spend time with during the break. He's the one who's been tracking you, desperate to find you.'

"The whole team wants to find me. They all lose if I don't get caught."

'He wants you. So slow down. Let him catch you. You know you want to.'

Iruka slowed his rapid movements. It would be so nice to rest. So nice to stop running, get a shower, let Kakashi have his way with- 'No! He can't be the one who wants me! I'm just a chuunin, a lower class, boring school teacher.' He thought of his students, so innocent (he was too tired to realize that he had just thought of them, the children he affectionately dubbed 'the demons from Hell', as innocent). How could he face them if he just gave up and let some jounin have their way with him? How could he face his chuunin friends, knowing that he had lost the chance to prove that they could be just as good shinobi as the jounin?

Iruka felt one last surge of strength. 'Sorry, Asuma' he thought, 'You and Kurenai will just have to work things out. I won't lose!'

The newly inspired chuunin felt his pursuer drawing near, so he abruptly stopped. Kakashi, moving at a speed that made him look like a black and silver blur, sailed past him, carried by his momentum. Iruka dropped down to ground level. He pulled deep within his chakra reserves and managed to form a few clones. He sent his last bits of chakra into one of the clones, to make it flare as if it were the real Iruka. All the clones, along with the exhausted original Iruka, dispersed.

Iruka ran, stumbling over roots and shrubbery. As he passed into a clearing, he saw the sun. It was sinking lower and lower. He saw the bottom of the blinding circle disappear beyond the horizon. He had made it to sunset.

"I win!" he shouted, sinking down to the ground. He sat, slouched over, trying to catch his breath.

A pair of arms wrapped around him and pulled him against a rock hard chest.

"Gotcha." Kakashi whispered in the surprised chuunin's ear.

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I think this is my longest chapter yet. I'm sorry this has taken so long. Iruka just kept having to do more things, and the chapter just got longer and longer.

I won't tell you who won the game, so you'll have to tune in for the next installment. What I will tell you, though, is that the next chapter will contain some form of blushing profusely …sex. So it might take a while. I'll try really hard to make it not laughable (well, this is a humor fic, so not unreasonable laughable).


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry this has taken so very, very long. But the good news is, I'm almost at 50 reviews! I'm so excited. I love all of your funny comments and suggestions. And a question for **Roi du Ballet**, where is this KakaIru community? If you'll tell me where it is, I'll see what I can do about getting my stuff onto it.

A warning: there is sex in this chapter, although it will be edited here because I'm not in the mood to get my story banned (strokes story). The full version will be available elsewhere, as you will learn as you get to it.

Training with Jounin

Chapter 4: To the Victor Goes the Spoils

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Iruka watched the forest fly by. He was perched on Kakashi's back, his head nestled on the jounin's shoulder. The chuunin thought back to a few minutes ago, before everything had become so topsy-turvy and confusing.

_A few minutes earlier:_

"I win!" Iruka shouted, as he slunk to the ground, panting. Arms wrapped around him, and Kakashi whispered to him, "Gotcha."

"But… the sun is already setting. You're too late."

"Ah, but it hasn't _finished_ setting yet." Oh. Well, damn. That was a damn ambiguous rule. That left for an extremely large margin of error. Iruka was going to have to speak to someone about that rule.

"Are you sure you have until it finishes, Kakashi?" The chuunin was just going to have to protest it later; he was too damn tired right now.

"Positive. Let's head back and tell everyone the good news!" Kakashi said, beaming like a small child.

Iruka tried to stand. He made a valiant attempt, and almost succeeded, but the darkness, the bone-sapping exhaustion, and the shock had teamed up against him. He stumbled. Kakashi frowned with his visible eye. He crouched down in front of the other shinobi, facing away from him. Iruka stared flatly, until he realized that the jounin was offering his back.

"I'll let you get off before we reach the others. No one will know, so hop on."

Iruka was too tired to do anything but comply.

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True to his word, the jounin stopped just before the pair arrived at the seeker's jail and let Iruka slide off his back. He slipped a pill into Iruka's hand- a food pill, like the Akimichi clan was prone to carry. He popped it in his mouth and swallowed before he could think of why he would be needing the extra energy it would give him and blush.

He could walk to the jail now; the weariness melted away as the pill replenished his drained chakra. Kakashi must not have had much faith in its healing properties, or in Iruka's recovery rate, because he still clasped the younger ninja's hand and led him past the ring of trees and into the clearing. (Iruka thought about asking why Kakashi hadn't offered the pill before, so he wouldn't have had to carry his dead weight halfway across the forest, but decided against it. There was no understanding the mind of a jounin.)

The sun had completely disappeared by this time, and the ninja at the jail had lit a bonfire to illuminate the clearing. As the two final shinobi stepped into the fire's light, the others leaned forward anxiously, looking for a hint of who had won.

"Well?" they asked. Kakashi looked back at them and shrugged, loving the suspense he held them in.

"Well what?" he asked innocently.

"You know what, Hatake! Who won?"

"Well, that's really a matter of opinion"

"I'll say it is!" Seconded Iruka, remembering that damn rule.

"God damn it, Kakashi! Did you catch him in time, or not?"

"Yes." Kakashi replied slyly.

"Wait! That wasn't a yes or no question!" Genma wailed. "Do I win Raido, or is he going to be having me?"

"Yes."

Iruka shook his head, wondering if this was some sort of genjutsu. His students were so much more mature than these elite killing machines. If he was going to suffer a fate worse than death at the hands of some crazy ninja like Anko of Ebisu, at least he could get it over with, instead of dragging it out.

"Kakashi caught me before the sun finished setting." He told them.

The seeking team cheered. Asuma cheered. Kakashi pouted for a moment, having had his secret revealed, but then cheered as well.

"Well, let's get to the prizes." Raido said, licking his lips. The other jounin stared hungrily at their captives. If Iruka had been a Jedi, he would have been having a very bad feeling about this. As it was, he was just extremely terrified.

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The hiding team was lined up, side by side, across from the ravenous pack of seekers. It sort of looked like a twisted sort of dodge ball, with ten smirking team captains choosing their team.

Raido stepped forward first. Iruka was relieved; there was one ninja he wouldn't have to worry about. Raido looked only at Genma. They were perfect for each other; they were both perpetually horny, completely insane, and totally kinky. 'Oh god!' Iruka thought. 'I hope they haven't decided it would be kinky to try new people.' But Raido relieved Iruka's irrational fears as he strode toward his senbon sucking lover and threw him over his shoulder.

"Mine!" he growled, patting Genma's ass. He toted his prize into the woods, wasting no time. The rest of the crowd ignored the moans and later screams permeating from the forest as the other ninja stepped up to claim their prizes.

Kurenai went next. She sashayed up to Asuma and whispered into his ear. Until that moment, no one had ever seen Asuma blush. They chuckled as he turned bright red. The laughter morphed into catcalls and whistles as Kurenai pulled out a scroll, bit her thumb, and summoned a pair of handcuffs, a collar, and a length of chain. After accessorizing her trophy, she led him eagerly following into the woods.

Roan followed Kurenai in the choosing. He beckoned Ran over to him.

"Come on, Ran-chan. Let's go tell Hazumi-chan and Ayame-chan who won this little game!" he said. Both raced off for the village.

Next in line was Ebisu. Iruka felt cold shivers down his spine. He did his best to think invisible thoughts; breaking from the line and making a run for it would only draw attention. Fortunately, Ebisu headed straight toward 'mystery nin' ('God bless you, mystery nin!' Iruka thought at him). The strange jounin nodded solemnly at him, before forming the seals to dispel a jutsu. A thick cloud form and dissipated, leaving Maito Gai in its stead. Gai must have been expecting gasps or fainting, because he looked disappointed at the silence he got.

"Come on, Gai!" Ebisu said, motioning for the blue beast to follow after him. Iruka shuddered again as the two disappeared. Ebisu and Gai…that was more than he ever needed to know.

Kakashi was next in the line of seekers, but when the others shoved him to go forward, he only said, "You go ahead; I'll wait." Iruka wanted to throw every weapon he was carrying at the lazy, perverted jounin. Instead of Kakashi choosing and killing Iruka with one quick blow, that bastard was going to leave him to die a slow, lingering death; Anko was the one right after him.

But Anko stirred up the surprise that Gai had failed to capture. She went past Iruka and the four other jounin, right to where Ibiki was standing. The onlookers gasped.

"What can I say? I like it rough!" Anko snarled, somehow managing to show all of her teeth in a feral grin. "And I love a real man with scars."

There wasn't a ninja in the village that didn't have some kind of scar. The onlookers cringed. Iruka, whose scar was completely unhidden, coughed and covered his face with his hands. Anko walked off towards the village. Ibiki followed. As usual, the stoic shinobi showed no expression, but he did walk a little faster than he normally did.

The female chuunin went next, picking one of the jounin he didn't know well. The other jounin quickly picked and left as well. Iruka was left alone, staring across the bonfire at Kakashi.

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'I told you so!' Iruka's shoulder devil yelled at him. Iruka blinked. Kakashi. Strange…there wasn't anyone else for Kakashi to pick.

"You look surprised, Iruka-sensei. Or are you disappointed?" Kakashi said, suddenly not across the fire any more. He stood right beside him.

"No! I'm surprised." Iruka told him, blushing. He was as far from being disappointed as Sasuke was from being social.

"You shouldn't be."

"I… didn't think that I was your type."

"Kurenai told me you thought that. I don't understand."

"You're Sharingan-no-Kakashi, the Copy Ninja. I'm just an academy teacher." Iruka hated Kakashi for making him say it. Didn't Kakashi know how perfect he was? How sexy, how powerful, how charismatic? Did he have to rub it in?

"You're amazing." Kakashi whispered, suddenly not beside him. He was behind him again, pressing his chest against Iruka's back, nuzzling against his neck. "I said I was going to hold back today, but I ended up having to go all out. I had to use my sharingan to find you a couple of times."

"I was wondering how you found me." Iruka muttered.

"You had an entire team of jounin outsmarted, Iruka. You're the most amazing ninja I know." Kakashi gripped the sensei's shoulders and spun him around. He had lowered his mask without Iruka noticing. He placed a chaste kiss on the chuunin's lips before pulling back.

"Come on. I'll take you home now." Iruka blushed, and followed as the other man lead him through the darkened forest.

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The pair stood in the pitch black street in front of Iruka's apartment building.

"Kakashi, what are we doing here?" Iruka asked. Wasn't Kakashi supposed to take him to the jounin's home to have his way with him? That seemed like the polite thing to do, rather than to show up at Iruka's place without any prior notice!

"I'm taking you home. Thank you for playing with us, Iruka." Kakashi turned and walked down the street toward his own apartment.

"What are you doing?" Iruka asked again. Kakashi turned.

"You said when you agreed to play that you weren't going to have sex with any one. That's why I didn't pick you." Well, that explained Kakashi's forfeiting of his turn; he had never officially picked Iruka; he had only waited around until everyone else was gone.

"Oh." Iruka hadn't thought that Kakashi was going to let him off so easily. He was lucky…

Right?

Kakashi walked onward.

"Wait!" Iruka shouted, forgetting that other ninja were trying to sleep around him.

Kakashi was back in front of him instantly.

"What is it?" He asked eagerly.

"It seems so unfair that everyone else gets something, and you don't win _anything_." He said slowly. Kakashi smiled.

"Are you offering me something, Iruka-kun?"

"Maybe. Yes. But not sex!" He said firmly. Kakashi shook his head quickly.

"Oh, of course not!" he agreed.

"But maybe we could do other things." Iruka offered.

"Other things are good." Kakashi whispered. He pressed Iruka back against the wall of the apartment building. The black cloth mask was lowered once more, and another kiss was placed on the brunet's lips. This one wasn't chaste, though. This one had teeth and tongue. It wasn't gentle either. There was biting, sucking, a battle of tongues. It was loud, with grunts and moans and gasps. Iruka decided he liked 'other things.' Kakashi released his grip on the chuunin, one hand withdrawing from his hair, the other sliding back from under his shirt. The jounin formed some hand seals, and transported them to the hallway in front of his apartment. He finished the kiss and leaned back.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked.

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'Other things' were more than good, it turned out. Other things left Iruka panting, gasping, begging for more. They started with more breathtaking kisses. Kissing quickly progressed into a full blown make-out session. Kakashi tossed in a little groping, for variety's sake. The jounin's lips moved from Iruka's mouth to his ear lobe, leaving a little trail of kisses in his wake. He quickly migrated south, to the juncture between the chuunin's neck and his shoulder. Iruka stifled a moan and gave Kakashi's exposed ear a tentative lick. It was, at that exact moment, that Iruka realized how filthy they both were. Before, he had felt sexy, knowing that he was the one making Kakashi tremble with excitement as he explored the chuunin's willing body; now, he just felt grimy. Iruka pulled away from Kakashi's embrace.

"What do you want to do now?" Kakashi asked, practically devouring Iruka with his eyes (both of them, since Iruka had yanked the obstructing hitai-ate off as the kissing began).

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'd like to get a shower."

Kakashi stared at him for a moment, trying to decide whether the sensei was joking or he really wanted to leave Kakashi there, all worked up, to clean himself off. He must have seen that Iruka was dead serious, because a moment later, he asked, "Ok. Mind if I join you?"

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Shaking hands turned the faucets of the shower. Warm water cascaded down upon the lone occupant. Iruka sighed. The 'no sex' plan didn't seem to be working as well as he'd thought. The chuunin wondered when he had stopped thinking of that as a bad thing.

He had felt like he was writing a contract when he had worked out the shower arrangements with Kakashi. At first, he had blushed and stuttered at the offer, images of naked Kakashi dancing in his head. He knew that agreeing to shower with him would be saying yes to a lot more. He had tried to think of excuses not to ("Is your shower big enough for two?" "I'm secretly claustrophobic!" "Having us both in the shower could leave us vulnerable to enemy attacks."), but realized that he was only doing so so that he would avoid saying yes without having to say no. He didn't want to say no. Instead, he had asked the older ninja for a few minutes by himself.

"I want to get the worst of this grime off of me first." He had said. 'I'm going to need a few moments to prepare myself for this.' He had meant.

So as the steaming water washed away the dirt and leaves and pollen and sweat, Iruka tried to get himself ready for what he was about to do.

Was Kakashi going to respect him afterwards? Was he going to think he was some sort of slut, for giving in so easily? Iruka wasn't just some conquest, was he, to be discussed and laughed over with the other jounin over sake?

Iruka panicked. He was in the process of reaching for a towel and jutsuing himself home when he felt a cold gust of wind. The air that had been warmed by his shower was escaping as the door opened. Kakashi slipped into the shower and wrapped his arms around the hyperventilating chuunin. Iruka relaxed. Kakashi wasn't going to trick him or hurt him, at least not intentionally. Looking at him, the emotions in his eyes, of childlike devotion, and lust, and vulnerability, Iruka allowed his fears to wash away with all the muck that had been covering his body. 'No doubts,' he promised himself. 'No regrets.'

He let Kakashi press up close to him, his hardness poking into Iruka's thigh. He let Kakashi wash his hair. "I've always wanted to see you with your hair down" he whispered into Iruka's ear as the water rinsed it clean. "I've always wanted to see if you brushed yours," Iruka replied, which earned him a nip on the neck and a mock glare as he giggled. The momentary light-heartedness died as the washing and caressing began again. Finished with his hair, Kakashi soaped up a washcloth and began scrubbing Iruka's body. He cleaned first one arm, then Iruka's chest, staying valiantly above his waist-line, then the other. He pulled Iruka into his firm chest as he slid the cloth over his back, then over his ass. Kakashi pressed Iruka up close to him, bringing their groins together with an electrifying shock. Iruka groaned. Kakashi pulled back again and kneeled down to scrub his legs. At last he came to Iruka's erection, which was as hard as Kakashi's now and jealous for contact. Kakashi wrapped the soapy washcloth around it and massaged. Iruka gasped, seeing stars.

"Ready to get out yet, Iruka?" Kakashi asked. He was grinning at Iruka's enraptured expression.

"You're still dirty." Iruka pointed out, pulling away from Kakashi's hand and taking the wash cloth into his own.

"I feel dirty." He replied. "What are you going to do about it, sensei?" Iruka rubbed more soap into the washcloth and began mimicking Kakashi's actions shyly. How was he going to face his innocent students again, after hearing Kakashi call him 'sensei' like that? Suddenly he got an evil thought. If that bastard was going to play dirty like that, Iruka would too. He covered every part that he washed with kisses and licks, enjoying the wide-eyed reaction he got from his silver-haired victim. Ha! Kakashi hadn't expected him to go from a shy teacher to a mischievous vixen. When he reached Kakashi's hardened cock, he ran the cloth over it lightly, let the water rinse the soap away, and then ran his tongue up and down its length. Kakashi let out a low moan, and pulled Iruka back to his feet. The jounin quickly turned the water off and wrapped Iruka up in a fluffy towel.

"I think it's time for us to get out now." Was all he would say. Iruka blushed, becoming shy once more. Kakashi wrapped a towel around his waist and led the chuunin down the hall of his apartment and into his bedroom.

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Kakashi's apartment, not that Iruka had been paying much attention to his surroundings, was very sparsely filled. Only the most necessary things could be found in it, like a table, a couch, a bookshelf for Icha Icha, and an arsenal of weaponry. Even the things that were present were Spartan and utilitarian. That being said, Kakashi's bed formed a sharp contrast to its surroundings. For one, it was huge, with silky covers and plush pillows. But the reason it stuck out was not its size or texture; the bed was covered with rose petals. Iruka blinked.

Well, this meant Kakashi had been pretty confident that he was going to get Iruka here, despite his insistence that the chuunin didn't need to feel obligated, unless the jounin spent every night on a rose covered bed. It also meant he was a closet romantic. Where had he gotten the idea for rose petals? A rose covered bed sounded like it was pulled straight from some preteen girl's diary…or from an Icha Icha porn novel. 'Oh God, please don't let this be from one of Kakashi's novels!' he thought, although he was at least glad to have something to distract himself from his nervousness. He looked at Kakashi, asking his question silently.

"It's your first time with a man, isn't it? I thought that you deserved roses." Iruka kissed Kakashi for being so sweet. 'I hope it's him being sweet and not a line from his porn.' Iruka decided that he would give Kakashi the benefit of the doubt (and maybe do some research later). Right now, he had better things to devote his time to.

Like Kakashi slowly unwinding the towel from his waist and tossing it onto the floor. Or Kakashi reaching for Iruka's towel and disposing of it as well. Or Kakashi taking Iruka into his arms and guiding him over to the bed…and staring at the rose petals.

"What are we supposed to do with them now?" Iruka whispered. If they were just left there to be crushed by the weight of the two men, they would stain the sheets. Were they supposed to be removed? Why did Kakashi's porn novels fail to address such a key strategical oversight?

Kakashi shrugged, and quickly released Iruka to snatch up the coverlet of the bed. He laid it, still covered with petals, on the floor with the towels. He then picked up Iruka and placed him on the bed deliberately, as if to say, Problem solved, let's move on.

And they did.

**Censored part here (aka sex happens). If you want to read this smutty part (which will probably be very unrealistic, considering I'm a virgina and I don't even have some of the parts I'm writing about), you can find the full version at theAarinfantasy forum under the name 'llama63' and the thread 'Training with Jounin', or you can just e-mail meat enolatsol yahoo .com (minus the spaces)and I can either send you just the edited part or the whole chapter, depending on how much you desire. Thanks for reading! Enjoy!**

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'Lover'. Iruka rolled the word around in his head as Kakashi pulled out of him and cleaned them off with one of the discarded towels. He liked the sound of it.

"Kakashi?" He whispered, as the jounin wrapped his arms around the younger ninja and pulled the covers up over them.

"Hmm?" The older man snuggled closer.

"That was the best training I've ever had." He told him. Kakashi grinned, and placed a final kiss on Iruka's swollen lips before both of them surrendered to sleep.

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AN: Oh gosh. I didn't get nearly as far along as I'd hoped, and this has taken so long. Blushing sooo much right now reading this smutty porn I've written. I had planned to get much further, but I feel bad for not updating sooner, so I'm stopping the chapter here.

**A teaser for the next chapter:**

A polite cough interrupted Kurenai and Iruka's discussion. They turned around to find the chuunin Izumo, holding out a report. Iruka took it from him.

"Thank you." He told him. Izumo transported himself away. Iruka began flipping through the report, eyes flashing across each page. '

"What is that?" Kurenai asked. Iruka held up the cover of the report for her to see: 'The History of Jounin Jailbreak.'

"Perfect." Iruka said, as he found what he was looking for.

"What?"

"I just found something that the others might find very interesting."


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is pretty short. Sorry. The next will probably be longer; this one's just getting it set up.

Training with Jounin

Chapter 5: The Rules

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Sunshine entered the room through the dusty curtain on the window and illuminated the two bodies wrapped together on the huge, silk covered bed. Iruka stretched out like a cat and awoke. Being a ninja, he didn't open his eyes right away; instead, as was his ritual, he stretched out his senses to feel for any danger. He did so today only out of habit, because in truth, he had never felt so safe. Kakashi's arms were wrapped around him, his skin warming the chuunin pleasantly.

Iruka didn't have anywhere to be and no classes to teach, so he stayed in the bed for a moment, snuggling closer to the jounin beside him. A bruise had formed on Kakashi's shoulder over night, with the indentation of teeth framing it like a picture. Iruka placed a kiss on it, hoping it wouldn't bother the other man greatly. At least it was far down enough that it wouldn't show, especially since the masked man wore turtlenecks year round. It was such a shame, how he covered up that beautiful body…not that Iruka wanted anyone else to see it though. Damn it, he wasn't making any sense. He laid his head back down on Kakashi's chest and listened to heavy breathing as it rose and fell. Iruka was quite sure he could get used to waking up like this, although it might ruin his reputation of never being tardy…

A quick glance at the clock, which was upside down-Kakashi must have put it that way so he could just lean his head back over the bed to see the time, rather than actually getting up, the lazy pervert-which was nearly noon. Despite the exhausting day he'd had yesterday and the late night, the sensei wasn't one of those people who could stay in bed all day. He carefully untangled his limbs from Kakashi's, placed a tiny peck of a kiss on the other's exposed lips, and slid out of bed to retrieve his clothes. A few minutes later, a fully clothed chuunin exited the jounin bachelor apartments, much to the disappointment of a certain naked jounin who frowned at the loss of warmth.

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Iruka had come and gone from his apartment, dropping his filthy clothes into the laundry, showering, and dressing again. As he left, he met Izumo, Tsunade's messenger chuunin at his door.

"Hokage wants you to join her for lunch." He said, and left. The man wasn't very verbose, Iruka thought. Maybe he got paid for the messages he delivered, and was trying to get as many in as he could. Iruka's job seemed a whole lot better to him. Dealing with a room full of eight-year-old killing machines seemed like a walk in the park compared to having to serve the Fifth Hokage's every whim.

"So, how did the training go, Iruka-kun?" Tsunade asked as he transported himself to her office.

"It went well." Iruka replied politely, hoping she wasn't going to embarrass him too much.

"Did you learn any good moves?" She asked slyly. Iruka blushed.

"I'd like to think so."

"Oh, do tell! It's important to keep track of these things, Hokage's duty." Iruka smiled. She wanted to know, did she? Well, ask and you shall receive.

"It was so educational, Hokage-sama! Gai-sensei taught me some of his best youthful moves." He exclaimed, feigning enthusiasm.

"Gai-sensei?" Tsunade said weakly. She turned pale.

"Yes! He and Ebisu-san even demonstrated some great team moves, although they said I'm not flexible enough to do those yet. But they even promised to train with me until I am!"

Tsunade cringed, and began clawing at her ears.

"And Ibiki taught me about some wonderful new ways of interrogating people, and all it takes are a partner, some rocks, and Naruto's sexy-no-jutsu." The words 'Ibiki' and 'sexy-no-jutsu' used together in a sentence struck the killing blow for the leader of Konoha.

"Stop! Stop! I won't ask any more questions, just please, stop! The images, they're worse than the things that Jiraiya thinks up!" Iruka smirked. Today had to be one of the best he'd ever had. Waking up beside a drop-dead sexy shinobi and driving the most powerful ninja in the village to her knees before lunchtime. And the Hokage even had lunch ready for both of them, so there was free food in the equation too!

"But seriously, do you think the training went well?" The Hokage asked, looking ready to cover her ears should he mention Ibiki again. "I know Sandaime had great trust in you, and I want to know your opinion."

"I think it went very well, Hokage-sama. The jounin weren't going all out, but they got to practice their skills, and more importantly, they were kept entertained."

"That's good. Help yourself to some food, Iruka-kun." Iruka and Tsunade ate and discussed the happenings of Konoha. Tsunade really did value Iruka's input, even if she did love tormenting the man, and not only because he was one of the friends of her Sarutobi-sensei. He was caring, had common sense, and was willing to offer advice on tough issues. The discussion they had over lunch saved her at least two hours worth of research she would have had to done before signing documents about some new academy policy. Now she could get off early and maybe hit the casinos!

"Thank you, Iruka-kun. Let me know if there's ever anything you need." She told him, thanking and dismissing the chuunin at the same time.

"Actually, Tsunade-sama, there is one thing you might do. I was wondering if there are any records of the original rules for Jounin Jailbreak in the Village's Library."

"I'll look into that for you, Iruka-kun. Now go on, I've got important business to attend to." 'Slot machine, here I come!' She thought to herself.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama. Good luck!" He said, disappearing.

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Iruka walked down the street, planning on hunting down Naruto and taking him for ramen. This plan didn't last though, due to an unfortunate kidnapping by one Yuuhi Kurenai. She dragged him into an empty alleyway and sat him down on a wooden box.

"What did you do to him?" She asked. Iruka had to wonder, what was it with women interrogating him today?

"What did I do to who, Kurenai-san?" He was generally confused.

"Kakashi! What did you do to Kakashi! He just came to me saying that he thought he made the worst mistake of his life last night, and I want to know what's going on." Iruka's heart sank. 'The worst mistake of his life?' His entire body went cold.

"Well?" Kurenai asked, tapping her foot.

Iruka's misery quickly turned to anger. "The worst mistake of his life! That bastard! He sure as hell wasn't complaining last night!" Iruka gripped a kunai so hard that his knuckles went white.

"Wait. I'm not saying he didn't enjoy it, Iruka-kun! He thought he'd made a mistake because _you_ didn't like it."

"What? Of course I liked it. It was the best night of my life." Iruka was about to go into more detail, until he remembered exactly what he was talking about, and with whom. He quickly clamped his mouth shut and flushed.

"Then why did you run off? He was convinced you regretted it. That's why he thought it was a mistake." Oh. That was all? Iruka laughed.

"I don't have any regrets, Kurenai. I just got up because I don't like to stay in bed all day, and then the Hokage called me in to talk. I enjoyed myself very much last night."

"Oh." Kurenai was silent for a moment. Then she let out a whoop of excitement. "Yes! I'm a goddess! The match-making GODDESS!" She did a little victory dance in front of a stunned chuunin sensei.

"What are you talking about, Kurenai-san?" He finally asked. Female jounin were a scary, unfathomable lot.

"Kakashi is so hopeless when it comes to romance. He's never had a real relationship, can you believe it? Mind, you're almost as bad, with this lack of communication and these misunderstandings floating around, but at least I didn't have to shove you though a window with a note pinned to your lapel to get you to ask him out." That would explain the cheering outside of his window when he'd agreed.

"That was you, then? I was wondering."

"Yes. I had to help him out. He's been mooning over you for months now, but he wouldn't have ever asked you out on his own. His plan was to kidnap you for a first date. I've had to tell him what to do every step of the way."

Iruka found that kind of endearing, in a disturbing sort of way. Kakashi was so clueless about relationships. No wonder he acted like a small child every time he asked Iruka to do something date-y, like eating dinner with him or walking him home. And he could just see Kurenai having to drill instructions into his head so he'd know what to do and not mess anything up. It was cute.

"He really cares about you, Iruka. He doesn't open up to people very often, so don't hurt him."

"I won't, Kurenai. I care about him too." Kurenai smiled. Then she gasped.

"You shouldn't be telling _me_ this! Kakashi still thinks you don't like him! You have to find him and tell him before he does something stupid!"

"I just need to know one thing first." Iruka said. He asked his question. Kurenai and Iruka whispered to one another for a few minutes.

A polite cough interrupted Kurenai and Iruka's discussion. They turned around to find the chuunin Izumo, holding out a report. Iruka took it from him.

"Thank you." He told him. Izumo transported himself away. Iruka began flipping through the report, eyes flashing across each page. '

"What is that?" Kurenai asked. Iruka held up the cover of the report for her to see: 'The History of Jounin Jailbreak.'

"Perfect." Iruka said, as he found what he was looking for.

"What?"

"I just found something that the others might find very interesting. Kurenai, could I ask you a favor? I need you to gather up everyone who was at the games and have them meet me at the forbidden area as soon as they can."

Kurenai nodded. "Just promise me you'll work things out with Kakashi." She said.

"I will. Have him come to the forbidden area and I'll take care of everything." He said. She disappeared. Iruka re-read the passage from the report. Perfect! This really was the best day of his life. He scrambled to get up off of the box he'd been sitting on, and sprinted for the forbidden area.

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The jounin whispered to each other excitedly, speculating as to why they had been asked to gather. No one seemed to know, and Kurenai, who had gathered them all, was refusing to tell.

Genma and Raido were a bit peeved, considering what Kurenai had interrupted with her message. She'd caught them in a compromising situation, and had relayed the rendezvous information by writing it on a bit of paper, tying it onto a kunai, and blindly tossing it into their bedroom (hey, she'd already caught quite an eyeful when she'd glanced in the first time to see of they were home!). The fact that the paper she'd written the note on happened to be an exploding tag didn't help matters, either.

Asuma didn't join in on the conversation, but it wasn't because he was angry. Asuma was giddy, actually. He was caught in a day dream. 'I wonder if it unravels.' He thought. The object of his wonder was Kurenai's bandage dress. Could he unravel it? Would he start at the bottom, if it could, pulling away those hindersome strips of cloth to reveal her smooth, pale thighs? Or would it be better to work his way down, unveiling her firm breasts first? A drop of blood snaked its way down Asuma's nose, unnoticed by the smoking jounin. He was thinking about the girl of his dreams, and petty things like nosebleeds weren't going to stop him.

Kakashi was smiling again, although with his mask firmly in place, the expression wasn't really visible. It didn't matter, though, because Kurenai had told him that he had nothing to worry about, and she was the goddess of match-making. Iruka was going to come and work everything out. Speaking of Iruka, there he was now, waving his arms to get everyone's attention.

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Iruka almost fainted when he saw Kakashi in the clearing of the forbidden area. He wasn't wearing his usual turtleneck. He wasn't even wearing sleeves. The man was wearing an ANBU tank top, the only piece of clothing he owned that could reveal that not-so-little love mark he'd left on his shoulder. He'd known that the jounin wasn't as shy about things like that as he was, but he hadn't expected him to flaunt it like some sort of badge! Genma and Raido were looking from it to Iruka, and back and forth again. Raido patted Kakashi on his back with a chuckle, while Genma pointed at it and shouted, "Hey Iruka, did you do that? Damn, out academy sensei is a little minx!"

Iruka blushed and coughed loudly, calling for silence. He glared at Genma and then addressed the crowd.

"A discrepancy about the rules of the game Jounin Jailbreak has been brought to my attention." He said. The jounin gave him blank stares. He tried again. "There's a rule of the game I think you should know about."

He held up the report the Hokage had provided him with. "These are the records of the first Jounin Jailbreak. It says right here, 'The game began at noon and continued until the sun began to set.'" The crowd was silent.

"So?" A jounin finally asked. "What's that to us?"

"I was caught after the sun began to set." Iruka replied, seeing understanding dawning on some of the jounin's faces. "Technically, we made a mistake. The hiding team should have won."

The members of the seeking team looked at each other. They communicated silently, shrugging and nodding. Kurenai spoke up.

"Alright then. Since you won, you'll be given the prize. One night of whatever you want. Is that acceptable?"

The hiding team cheered, all except for Iruka, who waved once again for silence.

"Actually, in all logic, our one night would only serve to cancel out the night that your team wrongfully took. In order for us to really gain anything from our victory, we'd have to be awarded a second night. Otherwise, we won't have won anything, which would make the game totally pointless. I propose we be granted an extra night…unless anyone on my team has any objections?" He looked straight at Asuma.

"I'm all for it. Kurenai made the first move. I'm not holding anything back now." Once the catcalls died down, the seeking team went back to conversing about the new demands. This time, Kakashi spoke for the group.

"We accept your terms, Iruka-sensei." He said with a sweeping bow. He reached out to touch the chuunin, but Iruka was swept away in a tide of his exalting team. They placed him on their shoulders and paraded around, reveling in their unexpected victory.

"You are GOD, Iruka!" Genma shouted.

"I'm going to find out if it unravels!" Asuma exclaimed happily, to the confusion of all.

Iruka performed a quick replacement jutsu, leaving a henged log on the shoulders of his teammates. He made his way away from the rowdy bunch and back into the village.

Kakashi appeared beside him a moment later, having followed his chakra-signature.

"I suppose you don't have any regrets if you're bargaining for two more nights of it." He said to the chuunin. Iruka shook his head.

"No regrets."

"In that case, how about I get started on paying you back for that night I 'stole'?" He offered with a lecherous smirk.

"Kakashi, it's only two o'clock. I think it's a little early to be getting started on the night I've won."

"Ah, but being early had many virtues!" he chirped. Iruka stared at him. "…which I wouldn't know about. Ok, I'm not the most punctual of ninja, but it's never too late to start good behavior, right?" His eyes were begging. Was he still worried that Iruka hadn't enjoyed having sex with him? Iruka hadn't known that Kakashi was so insecure about this. He glanced around to make sure they were alone. His quick search revealed no one, so he pulled down that pesky mask and claimed Kakashi's mouth in a not-so-innocent kiss.

"Kakashi, I promise you that we'll tackle this prize early, but I need some time to get things ready. Meet me at Ichikaru's and we'll grab a bite to eat at five, then we'll get started." Kakashi nodded. He was like a child waiting for Christmas.

"Five o'clock. Understood. Unless we want to grab an early dinner, about four? Or even three-thirty; I haven't eaten yet!"

"Kakashi!" Iruka said, using his oft-feared teacher voice. "We're eating at five, and if you try to come by before then, I'll have you cleaning my house for the entire night!" Kakashi hung his head down and nodded.

"Yes sensei." He muttered, and disappeared. He reappeared a moment later with his mask down, stole a quick, breath-taking kiss, and was gone before Iruka even had time to scold him. Iruka caught his breath again and ran back to his apartment. He had to get everything ready.

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_The Conversation he had with Kurenai_

"I need to know one thing first." Iruka told her. "Kakashi could have used his night to do whatever he wanted, but instead, he let me choose what I wanted and he made the whole night about pleasing me. I want to do something to thank him for that, but I don't know what. What would he like, Kurenai?"

Kurenai thought back to Iruka's question as she walked away from planning how and when Asuma would claim his prize. It made her glad. Kakashi was going to be okay with Iruka. They might both be clueless about romance and oblivious to the world, but they cared for each other so much that it brought out the squealing fan-girl in her, a battle-hardened jounin kunoichi. She hoped Kakashi would enjoy what she had suggested. She had a feeling he would love anything Iruka did (as long as it involved at least a slight bit of nudity), but this, this was really going to take the cake.

But enough of speculating about other peoples' relationships! She had her own to worry about. She wanted to show Asuma the best part about her bandage dress- it had always been a secret fantasy or hers to have him unravel it off of her. But should she have him start from the top or from the bottom…?

She'd find out tomorrow how the two love birds fared.

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Yes, this chapter is pretty short, but the next one will be pleasantly citrus flavored (though probably not a full-fledged lemon; sorry to disappoint). I'll have more time to write over the weekend.

Tee hee. Tsunade's reaction to involving Gai, Ebisu, and Ibiki are based off of some of the horrified reactions I gotfrom putting them into pairings!

Teaser for next chapter: Icha Icha vol 6; that's all you're getting' from me!


	6. Chapter 6

Training with Jounin

Chapter 6: Icha Icha vol 6

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Icha Icha vol 6, as it turned out, was the answer. Kurenai had said it, and the ninja closest to Kakashi had confirmed it.

"He reads that one most often. We're all sure it's his favorite." Kurenai had told him, whispering in the abandoned alley earlier that day. "He's usually in the middle of it, if that helps at all."

Stealing Kakashi's copy of the illustrious vol 6 had been surprisingly easy. He made a mental note to warn Kakashi that when he kissed, he completed dropped his defenses. Or maybe he wouldn't warn him…. Iruka certainly hoped that no other shinobi was going to be using that particular weakness against the copy-ninja, and it was very useful.

Yes, stealing the book had been easy. Now came the hard part: reading it. Iruka cringed just looking at the gaudy orange book. The picture in the front was nearly as disgusting- a muscular man in tight leather pants embracing (read: groping) the dainty heroine dressed in a low-cut eighteenth century dress.

Iruka made sure his apartment was secured and his windows were all covered (he often told the orphaned students he taught that they were welcome to swing by if they ever needed anything, and some of him took him up on his offer by invading his house whether or not he was home, unless it was locked down like a fortress; this literary endeavor was not one that he wanted his students to find out about) before he actually started examining the book. 'This is for Kakashi,' he reminded himself as he turned to the first page and began to read.

The plot, or what could loosely be considered 'plot' merited to the fact that it filled the space between the sex scenes, went as follows:

The good king of the fictitious kingdom of Windaria was betrayed and murdered by his right-hand general, Falstaff, who stole his throne and oppressed the people. The murdered king's son, the rightful heir Mercutio, returns from overseas to seize back the throne (Iruka thought it was quite strange that, while the entire back story and history of the kingdom earned less than a page in Icha Icha vol 6, two and a half pages were devoted to description of Mercutio's golden, wavy locks and his bulging muscles). For some reason Iruka failed to grasp, instead of rallying his people and overthrowing the imposter-king, the prince decides to dress as a servant, seduce various guards and maids to get into the castle (Iruka noted that, for this volume at least, Jiraiya was very gender-equal with the hero's trysts), and finally recruit Falstaff's lovely daughter to help him regain the crown.

It was at this point that Iruka learned that Icha Icha vol 6 was a yaoi novel. He had to admit, though Jiraiya's writing was awful and had no traces of reality, the author had at least shown surprising discretion with his (first and only, alas) work of man/man relationships; even in a village of shinobi, a pervert could walk around with the book and satisfy his (or her!) interests without broadcasting his preferences to the world. The picture of in the front and the fact that it was an Icha Icha book made it seem like a normal, hentai novel.

There was a reason Icha Icha vol 6 had a picture of a woman in front, of course. Falstaff's lovely daughter, as Mercutio discovers in a smutty bath scene, is a cross-dresser. Taking another nice deviation from reality to fill a plot-hole, the effeminate Phoenix explains that his father dressed him like a girl since childhood so that there wouldn't be any conflicts with him and his older brother over who would be his heir. Although Mercutio had planned on seducing a woman, he doesn't let gender become a barrier and sets to wooing Phoenix anyways (by this time, the writing style had become so unbearable that Iruka had started counting how many times Jiraiya used certain phrases. 'Throbbing loins' seemed to be a favorite, and was mentioned twelve times in a single chapter. 'Heaving breasts' had been popular at the beginning with the sex scenes with the castle maids, but fell into disuse in the latter part of the novel). In the final pages of the book, the 'princess' and the prince defeat Falstaff (which only took one paragraph), recrown Mercutio, and have a nice, grand-finale coronation orgy. Iruka finished the book feeling that an hour and a half of his life had been taken away from him for absolutely nothing. But he didn't have time to dwell on his loss; he had arrangements to make.

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At the exact second that 4:59 changed to five o'clock, Kakashi pounded on Iruka's door. The chuunin chuckled when he heard the eager knocking, and took his sweet time opening the door (although he knew he couldn't wait _too_ long, or Kakashi might take the door off its hinges or break in somehow and ruin everything he'd just finished setting up). When he finally got around to deactivating the traps and unlocking the locks, Iruka found himself being dragged out of his apartment by his arm, which Kakashi had latched onto.

"Kakashi, slow down. We're not in any rush." He told him.

"Of course we are. The sooner we get to the ramen stand, the sooner we can finish dinner and move on to better things."

"For someone who is so adamant about teaching others patience, Kakashi, you seem to have very little for yourself. We'll have plenty of time later." It wasn't that Iruka wouldn't have minded hurrying through dinner to get to the dessert, but it was just so _fun_ watching Kakashi pout. He even jutted his lip out underneath his mask and crossed his arms. His very bare arms. Shit. Kakashi was still wearing the sleeveless ANBU shirt.

"Kakashi! Can't you change into something else?" Damn it! Did he have to show that love bite off to the whole village?

"But I like this shirt. What's wrong with it?"

"You know what's wrong with it!" Iruka shouted in his best miffed teacher voice.

"I think I'll keep it on. It shows off some of my best battle scars. You know how good scars can be for conversation pieces." Kakashi said smugly.

"Kakashi, if I find out that that 'scar' has been a piece of any conversation, I'll mangle your body so much that even the Hyuuga won't be able to find your remains!"

"Oh Iruka-sensei, I love it when you're forceful like that." 'I'll show you forceful!' he thought. Iruka had to remind himself how handsome Kakashi's face was under that mask so he wouldn't take a kunai and shut him up.

"Kakashi, if you'll put on something over that shirt, I'll try to be a little faster with dinner, ok?" Iruka offered.

"Ah, no. I'm comfortable how I am. We shouldn't hurry down the path of life, you know. Patience is a virtue."

Why did Kakashi have to make every conversation such a trial? Oh well, at least Iruka would never get bored. Maybe their verbal sparring was a little bit fun… And he had gotten the jounin to stop dragging him along the streets of Konoha. Now the silver-haired man was walking leisurely, slouched over like usual. The only difference was that he was swinging the arm with the marked shoulder, drawing everyone's eye to where Iruka had bitten him. Iruka's face burned. But deep down, he felt a warmth from the jounin's pride about the love mark he had given him, and it had nothing to do embarrassment.

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Despite the fact that they'd stopped rushing, Iruka and Kakashi finished dinner only a few minutes after they arrived at the ramen stand. Neither one of them took very long to devour ramen, one because he had to be fast to avoid revealing his face, the other because he was used to eating ramen with Naruto, which was a battle for every noodle.

"Maybe we should stop somewhere for sake." Iruka suggested, once their meal was complete. Sake might make his plan for the night less mortifying.

Kakashi led his companion to another stand, filled with adults instead of ramen-hungry ninja children. He ordered a bottle as they sat down.

"So, what are our plans for tonight?" He asked casually, pouring sake for Iruka. Iruka quickly downed his little glass.

"Can't tell. It's a secret." Iruka motioned for Kakashi to pour him another cup, which he drank with the same speed.

"Are you nervous?" Kakashi asked, frowning as Iruka swigged down a third shot before he had even had his first. If he kept going at this rate, Iruka would be too drunk to do anything. The jounin reached over to take the bottle away from Iruka. Kakashi would have to take him home, helpless and inebriated. He pried his hands off of the sake bottle. The chuunin would be under his complete control, subject to his every whim. 'Maybe one more shot wouldn't hurt him,' Kakashi reasoned to himself as he surrendered the bottle.

"A little bit. But you'll like what I have planned." Iruka whispered in his ear. Kakashi watched with his one eye as Iruka's cheeks, which had been a little flushed from the quick intake of alcohol, burned brightly. He wrenched the sake away. His sexy chuunin had a plan for tonight that was making him blush deliciously, and he would be damned if he was going to let him get too drunk to go through with it!

"Then why don't we get back home and get started?" He asked. Without giving Iruka time to respond, he threw some money down on the table and transported them away.

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The night air outside of his apartment building and a cold glass of water did wonders for Iruka's slightly fuzzy head. Once he'd staved off the effects of the sake, he sat down with Kakashi, who was lying on his couch.

"Do you want to wait until nightfall, or would you rather get started now, Kakashi? I know how much you value patience." Kakashi reached up and grabbed Iruka's arm, pulling him until he was lying down on top of the older man.

"I think I've taught you enough about patience for one night. Let's go." He kissed Iruka through his mask. The sensei received the kiss and returned one on his clothed nose. The chuunin hopped up.

"All right then! Put this on." He threw something at Kakashi, and it hit him right in the face. The jounin untangled himself from the ball of cloth and found himself holding an apron. A pink, frilly apron. Did Iruka have some strange kink that Kakashi didn't know about? (He had stalked the chuunin for a solid four months, and he didn't think he'd miss something like this!)

Wait….

'_"We're eating at five, and if you try to come by before then, I'll have you cleaning my house for the entire night!" _' Iruka had told him. Damn it! He didn't know Iruka had caught him. He'd only come by once, peeked into every (closed-up) window to make sure it was safe for Iruka in there…

Teachers really do have eyes in the back of their heads, huh?

"You can start with the kitchen, Kakashi. I'll be in the bathroom. Don't disturb me, ok?" Kakashi was dumbfounded. This was it? Iruka was some kind of sadist! He tied the frilly apron on and began scrubbing the kitchen. The things he did for lo…. Love? Was it? Kakashi had never been in love before, and he didn't think the love described in his Icha Icha novels was the same thing that everyone was always going on about. Was he in love with Iruka?

'You'd die for him.' His mind whispered to him. 'I'd die for any of my friends.' He shot back.

'You'd kill for him.' He was willing to do that for less people, but there were still a few friends that he had that he'd kill for if necessary.

'When you come back from missions, he's the first person you go see.' That was true, even if the chuunin wasn't aware of it. In his mind, Kakashi wasn't home unless he'd seen him. Was that love? He liked doing strange things, just to see the emotions play across Iruka's face when he saw them. He tried to make Naruto into the best ninja he could be, because Iruka wanted the kyuubi-boy to succeed. He'd shown Iruka his face, which no one had seen since Rin had transplanted Obito's sharingan eye into Kakashi's empty socket. Was that love? He wanted to go ask the chuunin, but knew he couldn't.

Kakashi realized that, while he'd been thinking, he had finished cleaning the kitchen on autopilot. He moved on to the sensei's living room, still thinking about Iruka and love.

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Iruka finished the final touches in the bathroom. He had everything set up, knew all his lines. He stripped out of his clothes and slid into the bubble bath he'd just finished filling. It was now or never.

"Kakashi! Could you come here for a moment?" He called. He heard the jounin approach the door (a courtesy by the jounin; he made noise by choice to let Iruka know where he was, a caring thing to do in a profession where breaking silence could result in death), but he didn't enter the room. "Come in!" he ordered.

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Kakashi opened the door to Iruka's bathroom and froze. As the steam cleared away, he saw what had to have been the single most arousing thing he'd seen in his life. Iruka lay in the bath tub, water dripping from his tanned skin. His chest was submerged in the water, but his legs were crossed and sticking out so far that only the barest amount of skin was covered by bubbles, preserving his modesty by mere centimeters. His dark hair was out of its usual pony-tail, and hung dripping around his face. Dark, smoldering eyes called beckoned him closer.

"So, you must be Mercutio." The tanned angel in the tub purred. Mercutio? Who was this Mercutio? He'd kill him, castrate him, make him pay for trying to steal his Iruka!

Wait a second…

"You are Mercutio, aren't you? The new servant?" Oh…oh. This couldn't be real. Kakashi pinched himself, but didn't wake up. Iruka was still in front of him, acting out the part of Phoenix. Did he know how often Kakashi had read and re-read that scene, envisioning Iruka and himself as the characters?

"Yes, your majesty. How may I serve you?" He quoted the next lines, which he had memorized long ago.

"My soap, if you please." Iruka said, waving in the direction of the bathroom cabinet. Kakashi quickly grabbed the soap and brought it back to the tub. He knew what happened next in the scene, but it involved Mercutio 'accidentally' dropping his signet ring into the tub. Kakashi didn't have a ring. Or did he? He felt a weight in his pocket. When he reached in, he felt a ring there. When had Iruka put it there? When had he dropped his guard enough for the chuunin to slip a ring into his pocket without his knowledge?

Iruka coughed politely, signaling his 'servant' to hurry up. Kakashi passed him the soap and let the ring fall into the bubble-covered water.

"I beg your forgiveness, highness!" he quoted.

"Pick it up." Iruka said haughtily. Kakashi slid his hand into the tub and began feeling around for the ring.

"I think it fell over here." Iruka whispered, taking Kakashi's hand and guiding it up his outer thigh, and stopping at the smooth, wet skin of his waist. Kakashi snagged the ring on the journey up Iruka's side, and grudgingly pulled his hand back out of the water.

Iruka reached for a bottle of shampoo and handed it to Kakashi.

"Here, take this away. I'm finished with it." As Kakashi took the bottle, he released the ring once more.

"A thousand pardons, majesty. It gets slippery when it gets wet." The jounin could barely deliver his lines without grinning. He was nearly shaking with anticipation.

"Aren't you going to get it?" Iruka asked, letting his amusement into his voice. Was that just how he interpreted Phoenix's line, or was he really enjoying this?

Kakashi reached into the tub once more, near where the ring had fallen. That place just happened to be beside Iruka's legs, which he uncrossed and spread to give Kakashi room to search. This time Kakashi, like Mercutio did in the novel, bypassed the ring and went for the real prize. Kakashi's hand closed around Iruka's erection, surprised to find him hard already, even though he knew how the scene went.

"Did you find what you're looking for?" Kakashi was leased to note that Iruka's breath hitched when he asked. Kakashi nodded.

"Then take it." Kakashi shivered. The blood was rushing out of one head and into another, but before all coherent thought abandoned him, he felt bewildered. How could he have ever doubted that he loved this man, who was making his fantasies come true? He climbed into the tub, still fully clothed and wearing the pink frilly apron. He settled in on top of Iruka and kissed him full on the lips. There wasn't much thinking after that; only feeling and splashing, moaning and touching.

He did notice when Iruka stopped moaning the cheesy porn lines and started gasping his name amidst cheesy Iruka lines, but he didn't mind that the chuunin had broken character. He loved Icha Icha, but he decided volume 6 was much better with the improvements Iruka made. So instead of whispering Mercutio's lines of love to Phoenix, Kakashi improvised a little as well. He told him he loved him much the same way, but his words were directed toward Iruka, and he meant every one of them.

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The next morning found Iruka's bathroom in a miserable state. The tub was still half-full, with the missing water pooling in the floor. A soaked tank top shirt, pair of standard issue ninja pants, a pair of shuriken boxers, and a pink apron lay balled up in the corner, soaking wet. Towels were missing from the rack (to be discovered later discarded in the hallway, still damp), and a ring sat forgotten in the chilled tub.

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The next morning found Iruka in a contented state. He lay curled up with Kakashi, hair sticking out in every direction, tickling the jounin. It was a Saturday, so he slept in long past his usual time, feeling warm and safe in the arms of the jounin.

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The next morning found Kakashi in a euphoric state. He had woken up to find out that the night of his dreams wasn't a dream at all, but reality, and that the chuunin he loved was still nestled in his arms. He let the other sleep, happy just to be able to watch the rise and fall of his chest and the slight, open-mouthed smile he wore while he dreamed.

He was going to have to tease him when he woke up, of course, for having read Icha Icha vol 6. But until then, he would relish this peaceful moment. Times like these were few and far between for a shinobi like him. He would make more memories like these, though, no matter what it took. Knowing Iruka, every day would be something worth treasuring. 'Especially tomorrow,' Kakashi thought, 'when he gets his second night.'

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Another shorter chapter. At least it has more action that last chapter. I love you, all my reviewers! If you have any suggestions, you're welcome to offer them. And if you have artistic talent and free time, or just free time, and want to draw me a picture of any of this , I would be your writing bitch for eternity.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Edited a little because I made a bit of a copy and paste mistake when I was typing. Sorry about that!

Training with Jounin

Chapter 7: Hokage's Desk

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Umino Iruka was at an impasse. He lay in his bed with Kakashi curled around him, trying to think what he was going to do with the jounin. Kakashi seemed oblivious to his dilemma, of course. He had found a bottle of chocolate syrup in Iruka's kitchen and was enjoying his breakfast, which really consisted of him drawing little chocolate pictures on Iruka's chest and stomach and then licking them off; it wasn't the most nutritious of breakfasts, but it was a damn good way to start the day, in Kakashi's opinion. The silver-haired man grinned in childlike glee as he squirted out a sticky illustration of a very Icha Icha scene. He waited until Iruka got a good look at it (just in case he needed any ideas about how they could spend the rest of their morning) before he cleaned off his palate and began anew.

Kakashi had the attention span of a squirrel, and therein lay Iruka's problem. Jounin got bored so easily. What could Iruka do to make sure Kakashi didn't lose interest in him? Iruka could think of a thousand things he would like to do the man, but they all seemed so ordinary. He wanted something that would hold Kakashi's attention and keep him from getting bored and moving on. The older shinobi had only been a major part in his life for a total of three days, but Iruka was all ready sure that he didn't want to experience life without him. The chuunin had made do with a lonely life before, but he wasn't sure he could do it again, now that he had been with Kakashi and woken up in his arms, feeling so fully loved that he was afraid he might burst. So he had to make sure that tonight was special.

Iruka wrenched the bottle of chocolate syrup away from a protesting Kakashi.

"I think you've had enough of that now." He scolded. Kakashi grabbed for the bottle.

"But I'm not done with my masterpiece yet. You can't stop _art_, Iruka." He wailed mournfully. Iruka regarded the 'masterpiece' with a raised eyebrow. It was a sticky mess. What was it, two cows roller-skating?

"That's you," Kakashi told him matter-of-factly, pointing at the first roller-skating cow. "And this one's me. I'm carrying you over to the bed," he pointed at squiggly line that covered Iruka's lower stomach," so I can ravage you!" Iruka looked from the chocolaty picture to Kakashi's dead-serious face and back once more. A snort escaped from him. A chuckle soon followed. He prided himself that he didn't laugh outright, but he spent the next few minutes snickering.

"It's not done yet." Kakashi muttered, acting mock-offended.

"Well it's time to clean-up now, Kakashi-kun." Iruka replied in sensei-mode. Kakashi complied, making sure to eat the cow-Iruka's head first, leaving his body to suffer until the squiggle-line bed and the Kakashi-cow had disappeared. When he finished, Kakashi looked up from his work. Iruka leaned up and licked the stray chocolate off of his face. Kakashi allowed himself to be drawn into a chocolaty kiss, before hopping out of bed and beginning the search for some dry clothing.

"Where do you think you're going?" Iruka asked. Kakashi turned around.

"I though you were getting up now." He said. Iruka smirked and beckoned him back to bed, still brandishing the syrup bottle.

"I just said you were done. I still haven't had my breakfast." Kakashi was back in the bed at lightning speed.

"Can't miss breakfast." He said sagely. "It's the most important meal of the day." Iruka nodded and pushed the jounin down flat. He settled on top of the other ninja and began decorating him with the syrup. He didn't draw, though; he left sticky chocolate words in his wake as he worked from Kakashi's chest downward. The word 'MINE' appeared more than once, as well as 'Property of Umino Iruka'. As he got further down, he spelled out the message that Kakashi had been waiting to read. 'I'm going to ravage you.' Kakashi made to pounce, but Iruka, who was now straddling him firmly, held him in place.

"Wait 'til I'm done." He scolded, before he resumed his writing. There was just enough room left for one more message, written lovingly above the fine silvery hairs leading downward on Kakashi's lower stomach. 'I love you.' Iruka quickly lapped up that chocolaty message first, barely giving Kakashi enough time to read it. He only got halfway through licking Kakashi clean before the other ninja flipped him over and began the ravaging, leaving the chocolate syrup to be smeared between them.

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Half of Iruka's apartment was in shambles by the time the two ninja finished their breakfast, stumbled through a shower, and finally dressed. Kakashi donned one of Iruka's old uniforms, which he luckily wore loose enough that they fit the taller ninja, although they were a little tight. The bathroom was still a horror to behold, the hallway was littered with discarded towels, and the bedroom now sported tangled, chocolate smeared sheets and Iruka's clothes thrown about after being discovered unfit for Kakashi to wear. The jounin departed, coerced with promises of 'later', to give Iruka some time alone to make his home livable again. On the brighter side, the kitchen and half of the living room were spotless, thanks to Kakashi, and Iruka was sure he'd never started out a better morning (it had to be the breakfast; most important meal of the day, indeed!).

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Kurenai waltzed through Konoha, humming an old ninja drinking song and generally acting happy to be alive. She watched Kakashi passing by along the rooftops, and waved at him.

"Good morning, Kakashi!" The jounin hopped down onto the road beside her.

"Great morning." He replied. Both lost themselves in silence for a moment, thinking back on their respective mornings about what made them so great. Finally, Kurenai shook off the memory of Asuma and his liberal use of the cloning jutsu and asked Kakashi, "Where are you headed?"

Kakashi pushed the image of Iruka's hastily written declaration of love to the back of his mind for later. "Memorial Stone."

"Then the mission board?" Kakashi nodded. "Me too. We'll have to finish out missions up quickly so we can be back tonight."

There was another silence as the kunoichi and the shinobi fantasized about the night to come. They finally departed, Kakashi skipping along the roofs and Kurenai humming. The other ninja who observed them were confused at their good moods. All the jounin in the village seemed unusually happy today, as well as the ramen-shop girl and the girl from the book shop. It couldn't be the weather, since it was overcast and slightly chilly. When a few of the bolder ones asked why they were so happy, the jounin and the shop girls would only sigh and lose themselves in memory (Genma and Raido would've told, but the villagers knew better than to ask them, especially if there were any children or people with weak constitutions nearby). The only answer they could get was from the enigmatic Kakashi. "Breakfast." He told them. "Most important meal of the day."

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Iruka cleaned up the mess in his bathroom easily enough, and folded the clothes that Kakashi had searched through. He piled the sopping wet clothes, the slightly wet towels, and the sticky-and-wet sheets into a laundry basket and headed for the laudromat (open twenty-four seven for a ninja's convenience).

'What should I do with him?' He wondered again, now that the high from the sugar and from Kakashi's kisses had passed. No more Icha Icha scenes. He had already acted out the only scene in the book (and possibly the entire series) that wouldn't involve him having to wear a dress, a mini-skirt, or some sort of skimpy bikini. Besides, the lines from the book got progressively worse. Iruka was very glad they had stopped their role play before he'd had to spout out the most embarrassing dialogue. What kind of delusions was Jiraiya under, thinking that it was necessary to vocalize every step of a person's climax? 'I'm going to come!' 'I'm about to come!' 'Oh, I'm coming!' Shouldn't it be obvious to the people concerned what's going on? Why would anyone feel the need to have to shout that out?

He didn't think he wanted to follow Kurenai's route and try bondage just yet, either. Maybe later in their relationship, if Kakashi wanted it, but for right now, it seemed too early.

The chuunin walked into the laudromat and tossed in his sheets and Kakashi's clothing as quickly as possible. It wouldn't do for one of his student's parents, or heaven forbid a student, to be asking why the academy sensei was washing chocolate covered sheets and blushing.

The machine started up and began its methodical bumping and sloshing.

He just wasn't experienced enough. That had to be it. Iruka had never had a relationship with another man before, so he didn't know what he was supposed to do. All he needed to do was find someone who was experienced and ask. That didn't sound too hard. Except when he considered who he knew that _would_ have that experience: Genma and Raido (hell no! They'd probably insist upon demonstrating everything, rather than just offering a few vague suggestions), Gai and Ebisu (no. just…no), Ibiki and Anko (he was emotionally scarred just thinking about that one), Asuma and Kurenai. That might be a possibility. Iruka was positive that Asuma, who prided himself on his masculinity and his beautiful girlfriend, would not appreciate Iruka asking him, but Kurenai always seemed happy to get involved, and had a knack for showing up at just the right times…

Speaking of which, there she was right now, walking right past the laudromat, humming an old tune. Damn. Iruka quickly wished for a winning lotto ticket, but his luck apparently didn't stretch that far (or the ticket didn't have an avid interest with his relationship with Kakashi; either way, no winning ticket appeared).

Iruka leaned out the door and called to her. "Kurenai-san! Could I speak with you for a moment?" Kurenai turned gracefully and waltzed back toward him.

"What do you need, Iruka-kun?" She asked. Iruka flushed.

"I need your advice, but I don't think here is really the place to talk about it." There were little old ninja ladies all around them, just dying to sharpen their waning information gathering skills by eavesdropping and spreading every bit of news they gleaned all through the Konoha grapevine.

"Oh, you need _that_ sort of advice. Why don't you meet me at the memorial stone in a few minutes, when you finish up that load, 'kay?" Kurenai giggled. Iruka nodded.

"Umm, Kurenai-san?"

"Yes?" Kurenai replied, swaying again to the tune she had echoing in her head (Asuma had taken her out last night, and they had danced to that song).

"Your dress." Iruka said, blushing horribly. "It's unraveling." Kurenai looked down.

"So it is." The kunoichi reached down to where the bottom bandage of her dress had come loose and was trailing behind her. A quick knot secured it to the rest of the dress. Kurenai looked up at Iruka again. "Thank you, Iruka-kun. See you in a few minutes."

Kurenai stepped out of the laudromat and continued her half-dance down the street. As soon as she was out of Iruka's sight, she broke into a sprint to the Memorial Stone, hoping Kakashi would still be there.

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The atmosphere around the Konoha Memorial Stone was peaceful and still. Kakashi stood in front of the glossy black stone as he did every morning, not moving. He reflected on him old team, Iruka, his new team, Iruka, his friends that had died, Iruka, and his friends that still lived (like Iruka). He wondered if Iruka would have become friends with Obito, if he had been given the chance. His former team mate was so similar to Naruto. Kakashi wondered if Iruka would have liked him if he had stayed the bratty genius he had been before his team had changed him for the better.

"Kakashi!" he heard someone calling faintly. He ignored it. This was his quiet time.

Would he ever have to read Iruka's name on this stone? Kakashi frowned. No, he wouldn't. He was Konoha's copy ninja, the man of a thousand jutsu, and he wasn't going to let anything hurt his chuunin.

"Kakashi!" the voice came again, louder this time.

What was the point of knowing all those moves, if he couldn't protect the one he loved? Iruka didn't go on dangerous missions too often, since it interfered with his teaching and his work in the mission room, so it wouldn't be too hard to protect him. He could trail Iruka on the missions he did go on (it wouldn't be the first time he followed someone to make sure they were safe), and he could leave one of his nin dogs in the village to watch over hi-

"KAKASHI!" The voice shouted right in his ear, leaving his head ringing. Kakashi shook his head and looked to his side. Kurenai stood there, panting.

"You have to transform into me, quickly!" She shouted. "He'll be here soon."

Kakashi stared at Kurenai. Were all women this confusing, or was it just a kunoichi thing?

"Iruka is coming here to talk to me about you." Kurenai explained. "And I'm tired of you two not communicating and having problems. Change into me and talk to him." Oh. Okay, that made a little more sense. Kakashi transformed himself into Kurenai's body.

"Someone's coming!" Kurenai whispered, diving into the bushes nearby and concealing herself. Kakashi was still trying to orient himself again. It was very strange suddenly being almost twelve centimeters shorter than he normally was. He found himself enveloped in the shadow of another ninja. A very tall ninja. He looked up (and up and up, it seemed) before he met the face of Sarutobi Asuma. Kakashi was used to looking up at Asuma, but not to having to crane his neck to see him.

"Kurenai, I've been looking for you." Asuma purred. His cigarette wiggled as he talked, which Kakashi found rather hypnotic from down where he was. He was about to tell his jounin pal that Kurenai had just left, until he realized that _he_ was supposed to be Kurenai. Oh, shit. Asuma wrapped his arms around the transformed Kakashi and began to pull him into a kiss.

"Stop!" Kakashi and Kurenai yelled at the same time. Asuma froze. Somehow Kurenai was in his arms, protesting, and leaping out of the bushes, disheveled, at the same time. 'Maybe Tsunade-sama is right; smoking is bad for my health.'

The Kurenai from the bushes jerked him away from the Kurenai he was holding and dragged him back into the bushes. Asuma tried to protest that a second Kurenai wouldn't bother him, but his girlfriend clamped her hand over his mouth. She jabbed her finger in the direction of the other Kurenai, who was watching Iruka approach, laundry basket in hand.

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Iruka placed his basket of now-clean clothes and sheets on the ground and sat on one of the rocks beside the Memorial Stone. Kurenai sat down beside him, a lot closer than she normally did; her leg was pressed against his and the ends of her hair were tickling his neck. He scooted away from her. He blushed, thinking about what he was about to ask, and shut his eyes tightly.

"IneedadviceonwhatIshoulddowithKakashi." He told her, all in a jumble. Kurenai blinked (she was close again; she had scooted beside him again and was leaning up so close he could feel her breath).

"What was that?" She asked innocently. Iruka repeated himself, slower this time.

"I don't know what I should do with Kakashi." Kurenai frowned.

"You don't have anything you'd like to do to him? Tie him up, act out another Icha Icha scene, anything?" Iruka shook his head.

"It's not that I don't want to do anything. It's just, I'm afraid if I bore him, he'll find someone else. I have to do something good, so he won't lose interest."

Kurenai sputtered. "Lose interest! I-he's not going to lose interest in you, Iruka! He's been in love with you for months now. He doesn't think that anything you do is boring." Iruka looked at Kurenai questioningly. How would she know what the jounin thought? Had she been talking with Kakashi?

And since when did Kurenai think that he would enjoy acting out Icha Icha? Something seemed strange here.

"Kakashi thinks everything you do is fascinating and sexy! He even watches when you grade papers sometimes, just to see that sexy scowl you do when Konohamaru puts crazy answers down." 'Kurenai' rambled on. Iruka looked down to the bottom of her bandage dress. There was no knot there.

"He isn't going to just get up and leave you. You probably couldn't get rid of him if you tried! You're stuck with him."

Iruka sneaked a kunai out of his weapons pouch and brought it behind his back as Kurenai kept talking. He reached his arm around her (she leaned in, almost snuggling him; 'Heaven forbid Asuma see this', he thought, not envying the beating he'd get for putting the moves on the bigger man's girl) and drew the knife nearer. As she continued on about Kakashi's undying devotion for the sensei, Iruka gave her arm a quick poke with his blade. There was a gasp and a popping sound. As a cloud of smoke cleared away, Kakashi sat pressed up close to Iruka where Kurenai had been. It was definitely one of those 'Oh Shit!' moments.

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Asuma had been trying to figure out Kurenai Two's hand signals (damn that woman's charades! They made no sense!) when he saw the academy sensei wrap his arms around Kurenai One, and began to see red. He whipped out one of his punching blades, ready to pounce on the chuunin as soon as Kurenai pushed him away and got out of his path of destruction. He saw a kunai flash (he'd kill Iruka for trying to hurt Kurenai!), and Kurenai Two threw herself on top of him to stop him from murdering the younger man where he sat.

Then Kurenai One changed into Kakashi, and everything made a little more sense. Well, okay, it didn't, but at least he didn't have to kill Iruka anymore. He watched as Kakashi's face went pale and Iruka's face went bright red. Kurenai was still lying on top of him, transfixed by the drama playing out in front of her, and Asuma was okay with that.

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"Kakashi, should I even bother letting you explain, or should I just kill you now?" Iruka asked, his arm still wrapped around Kakashi's shoulder, with kunai firmly in his grip.

Kakashi gulped. "Kurenai told me to." He whispered, fully aware of how pathetic he sounded. "She said we need to work out our communication problem." The vein on Iruka's forehead pulsed.

"So that merited out transforming into Kurenai and tricking me into telling you my problems?"

"I didn't trick you, technically." He felt the need to point out. "I just sat here and you told me what you thought. Do you really thing I'll leave you because you're boring?"

Iruka sputtered. "I…I don't know! That's not the point!"

"Yes, it is. Why would I want to leave you?"

"You're a jounin, and I'm a chuunin. You're adventurous and strong, and I figured you'd eventually want someone who's like you. Another jounin."

"Another jounin is the last thing I'd want. I need someone responsible, not someone unreliable like me." 'I guess that makes sense.' Iruka thought to himself.

"And I'm not going to get bored with you. Jounin would bore me, because they're all just like me. You're so different from all of us: you show your emotions, you care about people, you actually keep up with all the rules and regulations. You're fascinating. So have some confidence." Kakashi punctuated his words with a well timed kiss, just to prove to his dolphin how interested in him he was. When he pulled back, Iruka didn't look so defeated and self-conscious anymore. He smiled.

"And if you really can't think of anything, you can always go to the master for inspiration." He told him, pressing his precious orange book into Iruka's hands.

"I don't think so, Kakashi." The jounin's face fell.

"Never?" He tried to use the voice that Naruto used with him to get his way, but he couldn't sharingan voices like he could moves. He tried for the one-eyed puppy stare instead.

"Not never. Just not now."

"What if I'm very good?" Kakashi begged.

Iruka leaned forward and murmured into his ear. "Maybe. A good sensei always rewards good behavior." Iruka gave Kakashi's ear a lick and quickly retreated with his laundry basket and the reassurance that he held Kakashi's affections, quite firmly, wrapped around his fingers.

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Asuma watched Kakashi amble off toward the Mission Board once Iruka left, mumbling to himself about completing a record number of missions on one day and showing a certain sensei how good he was. Kurenai was still perched on top of him, squealing about the kiss she had just witnessed. Asuma didn't mind that she was fantasizing about two guys. All that mattered was she was still on top of him, that they were completely concealed from prying eyes, and that that blessed dress had come loose once more…

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Now that Iruka was sure that Kakashi would enjoy whatever he chose, there was one thing he decided he'd like to try. With his mission in mind, he found himself dining with the Hokage for the third day in a row.

"It must be tough doing all this work, Tsunade-sama." He cooed over their lunch, as Tsunade ranted about the burdens of leadership.

"Yes! Shizune is a slave driver, making me deal with all this paperwork!" She pointed toward the huge stacks of paper piled all over her desk. "I barely have any time for recreational activities. All this work is going to make me age prematurely."

Iruka wisely bit back any remarks about how her aging wouldn't be premature, and instead made Tsunade an offer.

"What if I came tonight and organized these papers for you. It would be much easier to get them done if they're in the right order." Iruka watched as little visions of sake bottles and gambling machines danced in Tsunade's eyes.

"That would be wonderful, Iruka-kun! What time can you get here?" Iruka smirked.

"How about you take off early, and I'll swing by here at about seven and straighten up this mess?"

Tsunade nodded. "I'll have the guards let you in." Tsunade smiled and dismissed him, already making plans for the night.

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At six forty-five, Iruka and Kakashi met up in front of the mission board. Kakashi was bouncing up and down excitedly.

"I completed forty-two missions today!" He told him.

"Really? Is that a new record?" Iruka asked. Kakashi nodded, and decided not to mention that Gai, deciding that the race for missions was a perfect competition, had finished forty-three today.

Iruka congratulated him, then whispered his plan for the night. When he finished, Kakashi kissed him and told him just how much he liked the plan (using more non-verbal communication than spoken words, but Iruka got the picture). They walked hand in hand on the roofs of Konoha, all the way to the Hokage's Mansion. Iruka greeted the guards and disappeared inside, leaving Kakashi to plan his entrance.

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The Hokage's desk is believed to be the most popular place for sex in the entire hidden village. It's not the most comfortable place for a coupling, but manages to attract the interests of jounin, chuunin, older genin, and civilians alike. When questioned about it, most reply that the thrill of the Hokage's desk was in the danger. At any moment, the most powerful ninja of the most powerful ninja country in the world could walk in and catch you. One has to be fast, quiet, stealthy, and most of all, daring.

There is also said to be notches hidden on the legs of the desk, marking every exploit that has taken place on the desk. Genma and Raido are rumored to have a leg devoted solely to their record. Once Iruka was alone in the Hokage's office and had a chance to examine the desk closely, he did see a large number of notches in the wood.

He felt a breeze for a moment, and then a body standing behind him.

"That's Genma and Raido's leg." Kakashi stated, pointing to the front left leg of the desk, where the notches were neatly lined up. Iruka turned around and looked at Kakashi.

"You didn't have any trouble breaking in?" He asked. Kakashi shook his head. He backed Iruka up to the desk and began nibbling at his neck.

"Wait a second!" Iruka scolded. "I really do have to organize these papers, otherwise Shizune-san will kill Tsunade-sama for leaving early, and Tsunade-sama will kill me."

Kakashi sighed. "Fine. Hurry though." Iruka nodded and began leafing through the papers. They were already in pretty good order, thanks to Shizune. It only took him a few minutes to fix them and move the stacks off of the desk to make room for Kakashi and himself.

"Done!" he proclaimed. Kakashi pounced and latched onto his neck once more. As he divested Iruka of his chuunin uniform, he sucked on his shoulder and left a hickey that was a twin to the one Kakashi still bore.

"There. Now we match." Iruka growled and gave Kakashi a nip on his neck. This meant war. Luckily, both shinobi were well trained in battle tactics. As they made use of the huge desk, they both fought fiercely, leaving the other covered with battle wounds. There was no way either one of them was going to be able to cover the marks with clothing (not even Kakashi, who walked around the village with only one eye, one ear, a tiny bit of upper face, and the tips of his fingers exposed; what can I say? Iruka is a very skilled fighter.). The next day was going to be a Sunday, so Iruka still had one day before he'd have to face his class, but it was painfully obvious that he was going to have to employ some illusion jutsu to prevent some awkward questions.

Despite that, Iruka was pleased with the outcome of the Battle of the Desk. It really was thrilling, even though he knew Tsunade was out in the village gambling and wouldn't have come back to her office if it was the last place on earth. He and Kakashi quickly dressed in the spirit of urgency that surrounded the legendary piece of furniture, and crouched down to find the perfect place to make their mark on it.

"Here." Iruka pointed to an unmarked beam that connected the two front legs.

"We'll have plenty of room for more." Kakashi agreed, making a little notch deep in the wood. "You know," He said, as he ran a finger over the Genma/Raido leg, counting the indentions, "They really haven't done it all that many times. I don't think if would be too hard to catch up."

"I don't think it'd be too hard to pass them." Iruka agreed. Kakashi kissed him deeply, loving his mischievous chuunin more each minute. They quickly stacked the papers back on the Hokage's desk and snuck out of the Mansion. When they returned to Iruka's apartment, they made plans for further rendezvous, before Iruka decided it was time for Kakashi's reward for setting a new mission record. They somehow avoided destroying Iruka's bathroom and referencing any Icha Icha novels, but Kakashi still felt his good behavior had been positively reinforced, and Iruka wondered how he was going to listen to people call him 'Iruka-sensei' again and not faint from blood loss.

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It was midnight before Shizune was able to drag Tsunade from the gambling tables back to her office to finish her work. Once she made sure the Hokage was seated at her desk, she went to mix up some hang-over medicine for her mentor.

"Damn it, Shizune! They did it again!" Her teacher shouted.

"Who was it this time? Genma and Raido?" They were the most common offenders. Didn't people realize that when they had sex on the Hokage's desk, they left a scent behind? At least a majority of the ninja who snuck in had learned to clean up after themselves, instead of leaving papers flying everywhere and a sticky mess to clean up (usually the few who didn't clean up were the ones who got caught and fled).

"I don't think so. We'll have to check."

"Why don't we just tell everyone we put a camera system in here, Tsunade-sama? That would stop them from treating your office like a cheap motel." Shizune switched on the tape that had been recording while they were gone and rewinded it.

"Maybe we should. This is getting ridiculous. So, did you find out who it is yet?" Tsunade listened, but heard only silence. Then Shizune gasped.

"Tsunade-sama! You have to come see this!" Tsunade jumped up at the change to escape her office and see home-made porn. She too gasped as she saw the screen. There was Kakashi and Iruka, both stark naked, rolling about on her desk. They both watched in awe. When it finished, they rewound the tape and watched again.

"Maybe we shouldn't tell anyone about the camera system. Ninja should be able to figure out these things on their own. We'll be teaching everyone to be more aware of their surroundings." Tsuande proclaimed. Shizune nodded her agreement.

"Shall I make copies of this one?" She asked.

"Hell yeah! I've got gambling debts to pay off, and this one will earn a ton on the black market."

Yes, the Fifth Hokage and her trusted accomplice had started a black market for the porn they recorded with their surveillance system. They blurred the faces of the unsuspecting stars of the show and sold the better tapes for profit. (Some were so bad that the tapes were burned of kept only for blackmail; Tsunade attributed her constant drinking of sake to the scarring that occurred from watching those tapes).

"You know," she told Shizune, as they watched the tape a third time, "the camera's got a blind spot right there."

"Yes, I can't see Iruka's face at all. I mean, an enemy could sneak in here and plant an exploding tag there. It's definitely a threat."

"Exactly! We need a second camera, so we can catch that angle and make sure I'm safe in here!" The two made plans about where exactly the second hidden camera could go. The Hokage's safety is the highest priority, after all. And if it would record Iruka's (very expressive) face while Kakashi pleasured him, that was merely an added bonus. It was all about the Hokage's safety…really!

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This brings me to the end of my little story, I suppose. If you guys really want, and give me enough feed-back, I'll whip you together an epilogue, but the main story ends here (actually, it kind of ended a chapter or two ago, but I'm going to pretend you guys didn't notice). I love you all!!


	8. Chapter 8

Holy Snikes! I've gotten over 100 reviews! Boo-yah! Does victory dance in swivel chair. Thank you all for your feedback.

And to **H-Girl69**, I thank you for your suggestion, which I will gladly include.

Training with Jounin

Epilogue

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_One Year Later:_

Iruka flew through the trees of the Forbidden Area. He only had three hours left to find Kakashi before the sunset began.

As he hopped from branch to branch, the chuunin recalled last year's jounin games, where he and Kakashi had paired up. Much had happened since then. They had surpassed Raido and Genma's record for the Hokage's desk. Kakashi had also found some _interesting_ porn on the black markets of Konoha. Iruka had been mortified, so say the least, when they watched the tape together, but Kakashi had stayed calm. The jounin had marched right into the Hokage's office and demanded a share of the profits, which he thankfully used to buy up all the copies of the tape in circulation (as well as to purchase more chocolate syrup, to replenish Iruka's dwindling supply). (He burned most of the tapes, keeping only a copy or two, 'for memories'). As the couple went on to break the record, they made sure to stay out of the sight of the camera's range.

There had been countless numbers of shared showers and breakfasts, of stolen kisses and alleyway groping. There had been missions for Kakashi, where Iruka and the nin dog that the jounin had not-so-secretly order to protect him waited up all night for his return, to bandage wounds and kiss away any hurts (once Kakashi found that part out, he began getting more and more 'injuries' on his missions, in increasingly interesting places). There had been missions for Iruka too, in which Kakashi trailed along behind him, and Iruka politely pretended not to notice. Iruka got used to the jounin's strange quirks, and Kakashi accustomed himself to Iruka's as well (he would only grade papers with red pen, for one, and never slept peacefully unless he went by and peered into Naruto's apartment, which had been empty for months).

Iruka passed by the lake he had bathed in during the last Jounin Jailbreak, chuckling as he remembered Kakashi's nervous rambling. He passed by the clearing where he'd hidden in a leaf pile and listened to his jounin read porn for over an hour. Over the year, they had acted out a few more scenes from Icha Icha- not as much as Kakashi would've liked, but he was a bad boy more often than a good one, and thus received punishment from his sensei, rather than rewards (not that he minded).

It was a good year, all in all, Iruka decided. Now he just needed to find his lover, and he could start making the next year good as well.

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The second time playing Jounin Jailbreak, Iruka discovered why it was that his team had been caught so easily the year before. He was seeking this year, and now knew the strategy the seeking team had used and was still using to catch their prey. It wasn't just the battle of skills that the rules implied; the jounin were using their personal knowledge of the hiding team to lure them out. The game was seduction.

The seeking team, which this year included Raido, Asuma, and Anko, confided to him that it was a common practice to stay away from one's lover a day or so (or a few hours, in the case of one horny jounin whose name will go unsaid), to strengthen their 'techniques'. Iruka himself hadn't done this (Kakashi was very persuasive, and Iruka would have felt underhanded anyways), but he was willing to try his hand at the seduction strategy.

"Hey, Iruka! You ready to get our guys?" Raido asked, pulling him out of his train of thought. Iruka nodded. The two turned toward a stream they had come across earlier.

Iruka knew that if he seriously wanted to catch Kakashi, all he'd have to do is go where he knew Kakashi wasn't, scream, and wait. Kakashi would spend a few tortured minutes reassuring himself that Iruka was okay before breaking and going to where Iruka was, so he could see him and touch him and be absolutely certain that his chuunin was unhurt. The silver-haired man had outlived too many friends not to. But Iruka would never use that compulsion against him; it was sneaky, underhanded, and Iruka, as did most ninja of the village, suffered from it as well. It was an unspoken rule in Konoha that the sudden need to check on a loved one, to simply reassure oneself that that person was alive and in one piece, was never spoken of and never exploited.

Iruka wasn't going to use that method of catching his lover. But that didn't mean that he couldn't use other things he had learned about Kakashi against him. Jealousy, for example, was fair game.

They hadn't even been together a month before Iruka learned that Kakashi was a very possessive lover. The chuunin could be laughing and joking with his friends one minute and look up to find them bound and gagged the next, with Kakashi wrapping around him protectively, just because one of them had casually put their arm around him or jokingly flirted with him. That was probably the main factor in the Great Porn Purchase as well; Kakashi didn't mind watching a replay of his and Iruka's exploits, but he as sure as hell wasn't going to let anyone else catch a glimpse of his sexy sensei!

Iruka, knowing how jealous his lover could get, and Raido, knowing how horny his lover perpetually was, had gotten together to plan the ultimate strategy for their semes' downfall.

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The area surrounding the stream was quiet and undisturbed. Kakashi flipped the page of Icha Icha vol 12 with his special stealth-porn-reading no jutsu, so that not a sound was made. He was very glad to have the newest novel; once he'd concealed himself with a high-powered genjutsu two hours ago, he hadn't moved more than he needed to to turn pages. He imagined it would've been very boring without Jiraiya and his characters (which he mentally replaced with himself and Iruka; the question of the day was whether or not he'd ever be able to convince Iruka to wear a nurse's uniform, like the big-bosomed heroine did in that particular volume). Just look at Genma there, on the other side of the stream- he didn't have any book to read, and he looked miserable. Ha, Iruka was always preaching against his favorite pastime (actually, his second favorite now, beaten only by the telling of embarrassing stories and off-color jokes and making his little sensei blush so adorably), but look how beneficial it was! Was Genma actually _drooling_ at the stream?

Kakashi decided he needed to get a closer look at whatever was going on downstream that Genma was so entranced by. He carefully released his jutsu, making sure not to let the escaping chakra flair, and tucked his book into a water-proof pocket in his vest. The babbling sound the water made over the rocks in the stream-bed covered any noise his creeping downstream might have made.

When Kakashi drew near enough, he saw what Genma had been watching so adamantly. Iruka and Raido were slowly undressing themselves, chattering to each other all the while.

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"Maybe we should take a break, Raido." Iruka proclaimed to his partner-in-crime, once they reached their target stream. He spoke much louder than was necessary for his friend to hear him; hopefully, Kakashi, Genma, or both would be near enough to overhear.

"Yes, I think so. I'm so _hot_ and _sweaty_ right now." Raido replied in the same volume. "Are you sure you can spare the time, though? You've still got your boyfriend to catch."

"Don't worry; I've got a plan to catch him. I'll get him just as soon as I've rested up a bit." Iruka had decided that Kakashi might be suspicious if his lover just stopped in the middle of the game. Let him think that he was safe for now, that Iruka was replenishing his energy for some elaborate scheme.

They both stripped off their clothing, Iruka modestly shedding his clothes, Raido turning the endeavor into a provocative strip-tease. Had he detected Genma's presence nearby, or did he always undress like that?

He slipped into the stream, not comfortable just standing around naked in the woods. The chill water made his skin tingle as it rushed by him. Raido followed a moment later. Phase 1 of the plan had been executed flawlessly.

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Kakashi watched, entranced, as the two naked men washed themselves in the stream. They started off innocently enough, just scrubbing away the sweat and dirt and letting the water cool off their tired muscles. Raido started to get playful, and splashed Iruka. Soon water was being flung everywhere; a war ensued. It brought to Kakashi's mind Icha Icha Paradise, vol 1, except that this was two hot guys, rather than half a dozen young women having a water fight, and he didn't think this version was going to end with twenty-nine pages of sexual exploration.

But wait…why was Raido wrapping an arm around Iruka's waist, then? Kakashi inched closer, desperate to hear what it was they were saying.

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Once the splashing stopped and the water settled down, Iruka saw a shock of silver hair peeking up from behind a bush. Raido pointed looked on the other side of the stream, to a man-shaped shadow standing in a tree. Phase 2: perfect!

Raido edged closer to him, and wrapped an arm around his waist. 'Let's see how they like Phase 3' Iruka cackled to himself.

"Oh, Iruka, I'm soooo lonely. I haven't been with Genma for days!" Raido wailed. He was exaggerating, of course, sounding so cheesy and pathetic he could have been in an Icha Icha.

"And I've been so alone without my Kakashi. What if I never find him?" Iruka responded, concentrating hard not to laugh out loud. He shook, but thankfully no sound escaped.

Raido placed a hand gently onto his cheek and guided his face until Iruka was staring straight into the other man's eyes. "Maybe we can comfort each other." He stage-whispered dramatically. His hand slipped from Iruka's face down beneath the water.

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Kakashi watched, horrified and transfixed, as thatbastardRaido wrapped his dirty-rotten-body around his sweet, trembling Iruka (he was shaking- was he crying? Scared?). The scarred son-of-a-bitch finally settled with his chest pressed against the chuunin's back, rubbing his hands up and down Iruka's firm chest, going much lower than he needed to! Oh shit! They weren't coming back up! Kakashi blindly grabbed for a kunai (Raido would remove his hands from Kakashi's lover or Kakashi would remove his hands for him!), but was shocked still when he heard a gasp.

"Oh, Raido! More! Please, more!" Iruka panted. Iruka wasn't pushing him away? ThatbastardRaido must have used some sort of genjutsu against the academy sensei, or drugged him! He couldn't just stand by as the scarred jounin took advantage of his innocent, naïve chuunin!

Iruka tilted his head to give Raido access to his neck, which the jounin gladly latched onto. Kakashi held his kunai in his gloved hand, watching his lover gasp and moan. He would just wait until he got a good opening before he killed Raido. He wouldn't want to accidentally hurt Iruka, who _had_ to be a victim here. Kakashi waited and watched, all thoughts of reading Icha Icha vol 12 twelve forgotten.

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Genma watched the full-fledged uke-fest playing out before him, using every curse he knew that he hadn't thought to bring a camera with him. This had to be the most arousing thing he'd ever seen. His lover was groping the ever-innocent academy sensei, out in the open, solely for his benefit. Only an idiot or an avid fan of Jiraiya's trashy porn would think that this was anything other than what it was- a plan to lure him out of hiding. Who would possibly sound that cheesy during sex? It was obviously a ploy; Iruka was moaning every time Raido so much as looked at him. Granted, Raido was a talented lover (Genma prided himself on having taught him everything he knew), but he wasn't _that_ good.

Damn it, though. Genma wasn't made to resist temptation like this! He needed sex! He knew he sucked at this game, and he was ready to give in. It wasn't that he was a bad ninja- there was none better with a senbon, he knew some kick-ass ninjutsu, and he told the best innuendo-filled war stories in the village. He just had absolutely no resistance to Raido's master seduction techniques, and the younger man knew it. It wasn't even like he was susceptible to anyone else's charms. Since he had been with Raido, the older shinobi had been immune to any enemy ninja's lure. He didn't let Raido know that, or course. That bastard was cocky enough as he was, without knowing that he was, for all intents, Genma's Kryptonite, and that he wanted no one else. The point was, he was not made to withstand this sort of battle with his lover. He slipped out of his tree and ran toward the stream, tossing off his clothes as he went.

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Iruka had been worried that Phase 3 hadn't worked, until a stark-naked Genma jumped into the water with them and had latched onto his lover. He'd been worried that his acting wouldn't be up to par, or that Kakashi would see that Raido's mouth only rested on his neck and that the hands beneath the water were staying a few chaste centimeters away from Iruka's skin. He and Raido had both been moaning wantonly-maybe they'd made it too fake. But apparently that hadn't bothered Genma, who wrapped himself around Raido the same way Raido was around the chuunin, creating a nice little Raido sandwich.

"Mind if I join you?" The senbon-wielding man whispered.

"Oh God yes!" Raido moaned. 'Yes he minds, or yes join?' Iruka wondered, but decided he would attribute Raido's response to the skillful hands that the other jounin had slid under the water (Iruka, still pressed up close to Raido, could feel them ghosting against his ass).

Phase 4 was going to be a little bit harder. They would have to continue the seduction game, except there would be less acting and more doing, in order to continue to lure Kakashi out and to keep Genma entertained in the mean time.

Iruka blushed as the movement behind him became less faked and more…rhythmic. Raido's moans were less frequent when they had been during the acting of Phase 3, but sounded more genuine.

'Please come soon, Kakashi!' He begged mentally.

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If before Kakashi had been torn between the desire to watch and the desire to kill, his mind was made up now. Genma was taking Raido right on the spot, with Iruka not even two feet away. Iruka looked very uncomfortable with what was taking place behind him, and jumped in surprise when Genma's hand snaked around from Raido's waist to his and the muscles tensed as if he were squeezing. Iruka's strangled gasp made his vision turn red. How dare they touch his chuunin!

Raido looked straight as his hiding place and, gaze never faltering, dragged his tongue up Iruka's neck. Fuck this game, and fuck staying concealed! Kakashi broke his cover and charged at the trio.

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The game had definitely gotten out of hand. 'Phase 4 is a failure' Iruka admitted to himself. He was dripping wet, naked, and flung over Kakashi's shoulder. He still shook thinking back to what had happened a few minutes earlier. Kakashi had charged from the brush, armed and ready to kill. In moves too fast to see or count, the silver-haired shinobi left both of Iruka's 'assaulters' unconscious. Raido had been left tied to the highest branch of a tree with special chakra thread, so he wouldn't be able to search for any more hiders or molest any more chuunin. Genma was also bound and gagged and left hidden in a small cave concealed with genjutsu. Iruka, who had been frozen with shock, was plucked out of the cold stream and tossed onto his jounin's shoulders. He didn't know where Kakashi was taking him. It didn't matter, though. He had really screwed things up. Phase 4 was a complete failure, and instead of snaring the last two hiders, he had ended up with two seekers taken out of the game! Not even the game really mattered though, not anymore. Iruka's only concern was how angry Kakashi was going to be with him.

They must have reached Kakashi's desired destination, because they suddenly stopped moving and Iruka was lifted off Kakashi's shoulder. The jounin didn't speak; he tied Iruka to a tree silently, before placing seal tags around a perimeter and summoning up a shield to conceal them.

Finished with the shield, Kakashi came back and stood silently in front of the dripping chuunin. Iruka looked away, not really wanting to meet his eye. He hadn't meant for things to go that way! He'd only wanted to play-act with Raido until Kakashi became overcome with jealousy and came out, only to be overpowered by the jounin and chuunin team. He hadn't planned on that unscripted threesome.

"You've been a bad boy, Iruka-kun." Kakashi said, stooping down to be eye level with the chuunin. "I think I'm going to have to punish you." He pressed himself up to Iruka's cold body. Iruka welcomed the warmth, and even more than that, the hardness that was burying into his wet thigh. Maybe Kakashi wasn't mad at him after all…

Iruka's arms were tied to a branch over his head, but his legs were still free, and he used them to wrap around Kakashi and pull him up into a kiss through his mask.

"What are you going to do with me?" Iruka asked as the kiss ended.

"There's only two and a half hours until sunset. All I have to do is keep you here and I'll win." His voice was filled with mischief.

"Two and a half hours is a long time for me to escape. Can you keep me busy for that long? You wouldn't want to wear yourself out and not be able to claim your prize tonight." Kakashi nodded, and began to relieve himself of the clothes that Iruka had dripped on.

"I think I'll think of something to pass the time. I still have to punish you. You need to learn your lesson."

"What lesson would that be, exactly?" Kakashi's eye was sparkling.

"That no one else is allowed to touch you. That you're mine."

"Positive reinforcement might work better than punishment."

"What if I do both?" Kakashi asked.

Iruka nodded. "Even better."

Kakashi pressed his bare body against Iruka's again and got ready to start his punishment. A gust of breeze blew past, making the still-dripping Iruka shiver. Kakashi's stern countenance dropped quickly and he wrapped his arms around Iruka and began rubbing up and down him.

"I'll punish you later." He promised, cutting the ropes that bound Iruka's hands and lowering his chuunin to the ground. "Right now, we need to warm you up."

And Kakashi proceeded to do just that. With his tongue, and his hands, and the shared heat from their tingling bodies, he drove away the shivers and the chills. Iruka warmed up quickly, but Kakashi didn't stop (you could never be too safe, especially when it comes to things like hypothermia). He continued warming his sensei for the two and a half hours, until the sun disappeared and the ninja in the forest cleared away to claim the prizes they'd won.

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The next day, everyone in the village was in high spirits. Well, not everyone. Genma and Raido were both pretty cranky, since they were sneezing every few moments and were wracked with chills. The staff at the Konoha hospital was also a little less than ecstatic to discover another nurse's uniform missing from her locker (theft had risen fifteen percent after Jiraiya's latest book, the 'Night at the Hospital' Edition had come out).

Most everyone else was happy, however. Iruka was warm. His guilt had been salved by Kakashi's 'punishment' last night, and although he still had marks on his wrists from being tied up and a stolen nurse costume on his bedroom floor, he couldn't bring himself to care.

Kakashi was also exceptionally happy on this fine day. And why not? Lying in the bed of the apartment they now shared was a sexy chuunin who had just finished assuring him that he would never want anyone else.

The rest of the village was happy for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was because the Hokage was feeling strangely generous.

And what was the reason for the Hokage's good mood? She sat in her office with Shizune, Tonton, and oddly enough, Jiraiya. A secret meeting was commencing.

"I got some excellent footage." The white-haired prevent told her. Tsunade's eyes glowed.

"Give it to me! I've had to get by on the tapes from that one measly hidden camera for months now!" She whined. It was a good thing that Kakashi and Iruka had never realized a second hidden camera had been installed, for 'safety purposes', or else she would have spent the time completely denied of KakaIru porn.

"Not just yet. I want my research materials first." Jiraiya also smirked. His price for the tape he held in his hands was the surveillance tape from a nearby lake, a popular skinny-dipping spot for the young women on Konoha.

The two sannin traded tapes, and Tsunade and Shizune popped theirs into a VCR, drooling before it even began.

The screen showed a stream with a shaky forest background, which was overshadowed by the two men in the foreground.

"Wait, that's Raido, not Kakashi! What's the meaning of this?" Shizune protested, as the camera came in to focus.

"Just wait." Jiraiya promised. "The uke-fest is just an appetizer." The two women and the pig watched. Soon enough, Iruka was being carried away by Kakashi (which earned the heroes on the screen a cheer and an oink, which was Tonton's expression of approval). The screen went blank for a moment, then started up again from a higher up vantage point with a different backdrop.

"I also got caught outside of the shield." Jiraiya pointed out. The Hokage, her apprentice, and her pig shushed him. Fine. 'But I learned from the master.' He continued to himself, thinking back to his days as a student of Sarutobi. Good times.

The two women paid no attention to the perverted old man. There were much important things in the room-mainly, two perverted young men, doing yummy perverted things to each other. It was a pity they wouldn't be able to make copies of this one to sell (they'd make a fortune; almost enough to pay Tsunade's latest gambling debt), but they weren't going to risk having this jewel of a tape confiscated by a jealous Kakashi.

And finally, all the fans of the black-market porn ring that Kakashi had shut down were happy on this day because they knew what the reason for Tsunade's good mood must be. Although they had learned that no copies of tapes were available, that didn't mean the original tape couldn't be viewed. Tsunade's secretary found herself overwhelmed with requests for an appointment with the Hokage, who eventually invited the lot of them back to the Hokage Mansion for a special mass viewing.

Kakashi and Iruka might find out about the tape later and remove it from them, but for know, they were blissfully unaware, curled up next to each other, whispering affirmations of love, kinky suggestions for ways to pass the time, and plans to cause chaos in the village. Whoever said a jounin isn't allowed to rub off on a chuunin?

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And that, my dear friends, is that! Sorry if I wasn't very graphic. I'll try to be more descriptive in other fics. I've got an idea for my next KakaIru story, but I'm going to take a little break before I start on it. I just bought Suikoden V, and while I was very devoted to my story and swore not to even open it until I finished this epilogue, I can't delay finding out what beautiful bishonen I'll be controlling much longer! (I also have a ton of calculus homework, but calculus is for quitters! Playstation rules!)


End file.
